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Sperm Donor Wanted

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Sperm Donor Wanted is the ridiculous new romantic comedy by author S.L. Romines! So, come on over to the goofy side and get your hillbilly on while you cackle like a wild hyena as you get lost in the story of Gia and Roman and the crazy band of idiots they call friends.

{Gia}
Call it what you want. All I know is I need it. All of it. A fully loaded turkey baster or a bucket chock full, it doesn’t matter. I need the love liquid, and Roman Blake is just the dude for the job.

{Roman}
When I realized that the woman ditched in front of my house was in fact Gia Avery, it was literally a blast from the past kinda moment. But it was when I found out why she was here that made me nearly lose my shit.

This is the crazy, out-of-bounds, totally insane, whacked out to the core, piss your pants, make-your-mama-scream, funny as hell story about Gia and Roman and what it means to take sperm donation to a whole other level.

Author’s Disclaimer: This book is stupid. No, seriously. It’s stupid, and I think I may have even lost a few brain cells in the process of writing it. It’s downright moronic. You have to be a special kind of person to appreciate this level of dumb. This book is absolutely not intended for the uptight, unhappy, snooty, humor-lacking folks out there. If you do not have the sense of humor like a pack of teenage boys or if you’re missing your funny bone, you should seriously look elsewhere for a more intelligent kind of read because this hot mess is not for you. But if you’re anything like me and find shit funny just for the sake of finding shit funny then you are my spirit animal.

Read Over 1 Million Times Online Worldwide as Sperm Donor Wanted by OzellaMarie.

This story has been re-worked, scrubbed, polished and douched and has been turned into an original fiction for your reading enjoyment!

Happy Reading,

S.L. Romines aka OzellaMarie

This story is intended for mature audiences.
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About the author

S.L. Romines

8 books121 followers
S.L. Romines lives in a small town in Central California, and if you blink you just might miss it. She resides on a ranch with her family which she lovingly refers to as the funny farm. Between getting dish pan hands, listening to three bickering teenagers, pretending that she’s a gourmet chef (her family would like to disagree), and trying to tune out the sound of twenty-seven deranged Guinea fowl, somehow she finds the time to write about crazy characters that even make her laugh till she cries.

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Community Reviews

5 stars
61 (50%)
4 stars
34 (27%)
3 stars
19 (15%)
2 stars
6 (4%)
1 star
2 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 42 reviews
Profile Image for Vera M.
503 reviews
August 27, 2017
OMG!!! Sperm Donor Wanted so freaking funny!!!

SL Romines never ceases to amaze me!!
Gia feels like her biological clock is ticking!!! She wants a baby!! All she needs is the jizz!!! She's decided she wants her best friends cousin. She's had a crush on Roman for years!!
Roman left his old life behind!! Being burned by the woman he thought was the one!! He left and went a little cray cray I guess is a way to put it!!
Don't want to spoil too much, but Gia is kinda left to fend for herself with Roman and his crazy friends!! Seriously I died laughing!!! I had tears running down my face during some scenes!! The nakedness, the crazy actions, the country lingo and the smells had me gasping for air!!
As you read Roman and Gia's story you will laugh, you might shed a tear and you will absolutely fall in love with couple!!
Profile Image for Jennifer.
49 reviews13 followers
August 16, 2017
Sweet Jesus!! This book had me rolling!! S.L. Romines brought the funny in this book. Jen and Dirk's Hillbilly lingo and accent was on point! Dirk is a hot mess!! You will laugh from the beginning to the end. **Spoiler Alert** The birth scene... again.. Dirk was hilarious! Dirk stole the show and he wasn't even the main character. This book will be a best seller!
Profile Image for Lee-anna Dunk.
1,231 reviews55 followers
August 22, 2017
Freakin brilliant.

Omg this book was absolutely gut busting,laugh out loud, awesomely hilarious. Ive recommended this book to everyone i know and even ones i dont know. This is the first book ive read by S.L. Romines. And you can trust me that it will not be the last omg i freakin loved this book seriously .
The only question i have is what did Gia and Roman call the baby ? . But God i hope there is another book in the series because Jen and Dirk need a book . Just saying those two characters were beyond amazing holy crap on a cracker Dirk is one character that if based on a real life person i gotta meet . Daaaaaaam he was a funny bugga .. seriously people read this book its so good . Soooooo good.
Profile Image for Marie  Brown (Marie's Tempting Reads).
2,744 reviews53 followers
August 16, 2017
Marie's Tempting Reads ARC Review:

A UPROARIOUSLY HILARIOUS, ENTERTAINING ROMANTIC COMEDY UNLIKE ANY I HAVE EVER READ! Sperm Donor Wanted had me laughing out loud at every turn. It was fun, dirty, sassy, sexy, flirty, and full of flare, and a unique combination of characters that will have you loving them as well as the way S.L. Romines writes.

This is some of the funniest stuff I have read this summer. I think I laughed so hard at times, I might of hurt myself. I definitely feel like my stomach got a workout thats for sure. This is just seriously fun...I can't describe how much fun this book was and how much I ADORE the quirky way Miss Romines writes!

Sperm Donor Wanted gets a THIS WILL MAKE YOUR FACE HURT FROM SMILING AND GIGGLING FIVE SHOOTING STARS!
Profile Image for Lori Hammons.
2,439 reviews19 followers
August 29, 2017
This book is a perfect mix of comedy and serious. I really felt for the characters respective circumstances. While it is nearly impossible not to laugh during nearly every scene, they all also have their elements of seriousness that makes this truly a touching story. I hope there is more to come of Gia, Roman, Jen and Dirk.
Profile Image for Kristene Skaggs.
91 reviews4 followers
August 22, 2017
What a cute and funny read! I connected with the characters quickly and was snickering and laughing in no time. I kinda think Jen and Dierk stole the show a bit, but loved every second of it. This was my first S.L. Romines book and it won't be my last. PS I don't recommend reading this book at night and in bed with sleeping spouse 😂🙋🏼🤷🏼‍♀️
Profile Image for Alexa.
269 reviews199 followers
March 4, 2018
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
It was funny as hell 😂😂😂
Totally worth it
Profile Image for Marley.
181 reviews1 follower
August 27, 2017
I laughed my butt off with this book. Gia and Roman were awesome but Dirk, omg, There is something seriously wrong with that boy lol. Such a great little read. There wasn't one thing I didn't like about the book.

Profile Image for Nichole Brunt.
462 reviews9 followers
August 20, 2017
Absolutely fantastic, funny and Heartwarming.
Follow along with Gia and Roman as they find their way back into each other's lives. In this amazing Rom/Com.
Profile Image for Evelyn Dotson.
1,759 reviews9 followers
March 25, 2020
Gia is thirty and is at the park in the city. While there, she literally feels her ovaries shriveling up…she wants a baby…and not just any baby…she wants her best friend’s cousin’s baby…Roman Blake! She has not seen him in a number of years and when she finally does…OMG! He looks like Chewbacca! That is something she can work with…but then her best friend just takes off with all of Gia’s things leaving her stranded three hours from home! Then she meets the neighbors and other workers of Blake’s farm! Hillbilly Heaven…and LORD help her!!! Blake and her hit it off mega in the short duration she is there…but she leaves~ One of his neighbors comes after her threatening bodily harm…so, she goes back! Now, they are together…she was informed of something tragic that occurred in Blake’s life and wanted to help make up for it! Well, now she gives some exciting news only to have her job threatened! So, now she has to leave…will it be for good? Can Blake convince her they have a HEA? This book is truly the most hilarious book I have read to date! I was gasping and crying and laughing all at the same time…you will too! I love this newfound author and her sense of humor and slapstick antics! Lordy, I want and NEED to read more about all of these characters! I received this as an ARC and am leaving a voluntary review.
Profile Image for R.E. Hargrave.
Author 30 books611 followers
August 16, 2017
Gia Avery’s biological clock is ticking.
And when the thirty-year-old, single woman realizes it, she freaks out… then comes up with a plan. It is the 21st century, after all, so who says things need to happen the old fashioned way? She’s a strong, independent woman who doesn’t need a man to be a mom. She just needs his spunk.
Enter Roman Blake.
Growing up, he was the stuff Gia’s dreams were made of, and he happens to be her BFF’s cousin, so why not? The problem comes when Gia asks her BFF to reintroduce them, and she finds herself out in the back forty with a rousing cast of characters who are NOT playing with a full deck. As time goes on, Gia comes to learn they ARE playing with full hearts, however.
Sperm Donor Wanted is a whirlwind romance that will have you laughing one moment, cringing the next, and going “aww” after that. Romines’ tongue-in-cheek, sometimes crass humor may not be for everyone, but if you have an inner prepubescent boy somewhere inside you, you’re going to find your cheeks hurting from smiling and laughing.

*I was provided an ARC by the author in exchange for an honest review.
Profile Image for Jess Brown.
Author 4 books38 followers
August 20, 2017
This story totally delivers on its promise. It is goofy, crude and lewd and absolutely hilarious. I laughed aloud several times and could not tell my children what tickled me. Really, this is much more of a comedy romance than it is an erotica but it definitely qualifies as both.

You will love Gia and Roman. Gia is a woman who knows what she wants: a baby of her own. The first male that pops into her head as a suitable candidate to contribute to this project is her high school crush, Roman. She doesn’t stop to consider why he’s at the top of her list.

Roman has a bad rep with his family. They think he’s some sort of ne’er do well. But he proves to be something entirely different. I won’t say more than that, or it will give away half the fun.

This is a zany read that will appeal to readers of Debra Anastasia, Helena Hunting and Katherine Stevens. Five stars.
Profile Image for Linda Buzard-Moffitt.
656 reviews17 followers
August 26, 2017
Just a great read all around. A book that was Full of Humor from the beginning to the end. A couple sexy scenes, but in my opinion, I DEFINITELY did not consider this read Erotica AT ALL!!! This was the 1st S. L. Romines book that I have read, but hopefully will not be my last. I'm happy that I found a great new Author of Rom-Com's to enjoy. I also hope there is another book following this, so I can catch up with Roman and Gia and hear Big Jen's story about how she came to live there and ended up with Dirk. Oh my! LOL Dirk The Horrid Hillbilly, Dirk The Wooly Booger. He's A Hoot!
I was gifted an ARC copy. I was not compensated in any way for this review.This review is my honest opinions of this book. My copy ended at 100% because I didn't get extra samples at the end of my copy. It is a whole book, the Amazon copy just has extras or free samples of other books at the end.
Profile Image for Evangeline Luguna.
Author 4 books7 followers
April 14, 2020
Omg i effing died

I literally almost pissed my pants reading this book from how hard I was laughing 😂😂😂 freaking Dirk😂😂😂 I am new to you.. this was my first read by you and omg I edging enjoyed it to the fullest of all..
she wants a baby and she wants the man of her dreams to give her said baby.
He’s a recluse he’s on a property and everyone thinks it’s garbage but it’s just for show..
Things heat up quickly as they both longed for each other and then... bammm Dirk.. Dirk is a piece of work and omg my bldser😂😂😂😂. This was an amazing book by you a new to me author.. I can’t wait to see what happens next...
Profile Image for Jennifer Garcia.
Author 43 books93 followers
October 26, 2017
honestly, this book is hilarious, silly, crude, and ... hilarious. It's a quick read about Gia, who wants a baby, and remembers her high school crush–her bestie's cousin. What she doesn't know is that he's changed, and she's also been his high school crush. Add in some hillbilly neighbors and lots of crazy scenes, and you have a fun little book. I love this author's sense of humor.
Go and read it... enjoy!!!
Profile Image for Fiona.
655 reviews4 followers
March 29, 2020
A Fun short read

This was a fun quick read. The secondary characters are a hilarious bunch of odd characters. They confused and amused me at the same time!
Our main characters are full of instant attraction and burning hot chemistry (once Roman showers that is)
The book ended at about 60% and the rest of filled with samples of other books, which was disappointing.
Profile Image for Letitia Bennion.
613 reviews2 followers
April 14, 2020
OMG

So glad I picked this book too read! This crazy hillbilly, backwoods group will have you cracking up with their antics. You will feel for the characters and the coasts they have to face and overcome. I will say if you aren't into the goofy guy humor type of humor you may not like this book.
552 reviews
December 10, 2020
Roman and Gia

I laughed so hard reading this book I had tears. So Gia decides she wants a baby as she is sitting on a park bench cursing out a mother. Than she goes to get some sperm from an old friend Roman who lives on a farm with Jen, Dirk and cluster of thee regrets. This book is so hilarious that you will wonder why you didn’t pick it up sooner.
Profile Image for Deanna.
1,046 reviews18 followers
January 22, 2022
Hilarious

Absolutely brilliant, I haven’t laughed so hard in ages and this one fit the bill. The antics of the supporting cast are enough to make you want to puke, laugh out loud and scream. Just so brilliantly and funnily written.

So if you are after a feel good, silly but adorable story then this will be right up your alley
Profile Image for Becky A..
101 reviews1 follower
August 19, 2017
Hillbilly Three

Oh my gawd I feel like I broke a rib from all the laughing. I think my coworkers might have thought I was crazy! Loved this book and all the crazy that came out of Dirk. Loved Roman's hotness the most! I so hope there will be more🤠❤
Profile Image for Jamie Ellis.
1,131 reviews14 followers
October 3, 2018
4.5 Stars!!

So funny and such a good read. I want more from this devoured all her books in a day and a half lol!! I seriously hope we get more from her soon.
Thanks Jamie Nibarger Ellis
29 reviews
March 28, 2020
Some parts were funny

This book was ok, not great. It could use some major editing. None of the characters are fully developed and the relationship arcs in the book make no sense.
However, parts were funny and I wanted to know how it ended, so it gets 3 stars from me.
609 reviews1 follower
April 11, 2020
Omg! This was awesome

This book is hilarious. I wish there was more of the story. Although it went fast for me, it flowed perfectly. I giggled, chuckled, laughed all through the book.
Profile Image for ChattyChik21.
2,546 reviews
June 1, 2020
It was a bit much

It started off well I enjoyed it, but then it just became ridiculous like a Beverly hillbillies crosses with Monty python. It just wasn’t my thing, I really enjoyed the first few chapters though
Profile Image for Stacy K.
1,143 reviews6 followers
February 23, 2021
This was a bit different.. you have a woman who is wanting to have a kid but isn’t in a relationship so she finds someone she knows to help. She goes about it in a strange and crazy way. This story was too funny and had crazy characters. Very much enjoyable.
Profile Image for Barbara.
386 reviews10 followers
December 16, 2017
This was a fun read that had me laughing many many times ... hope to hear a lot more on Gia & Roman & the new foal .... now Jen & Dirks turn, that will be a Hoot ... <3
138 reviews1 follower
January 10, 2018
Would have been 4 stars except it seemed disjointed in-spots like something was missing. Overall it was a quick, cute read but maybe a little to over the top, hillbilly-ish
Displaying 1 - 30 of 42 reviews

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