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Gynazule #1
Fire Down Below
Dove Glitch is embarrassed about everything above her knees and below her belly button. When she has to fill a delicate, embarrassing prescription the last thing she needs is a sexy-as-hell (and brand spanking new) pharmacist behind the counter.
Johnson Fitzwell’s first day of his dream career also happens to coincide with the exact moment Dove needs her feminine meds filled. His glorious voice is way too loud–as in, he should be counting down the hits with Ryan Seacrest kind of loud. Thanks to Johnson’s handsome face and gorgeous jaw line, Dove dives headlong into her waking nightmare and asks for a vagina-scented cream.
How could she not fall for him? Dove's only active goal now is to get Johnson to kiss her right on the lips. Either set. However, his horrible girlfriend is one of many obstacles preventing her from making that fantasy a reality. When Dove defends Johnson in the most unhygienic, unconventionally gross way in the middle of a crowded restaurant, their tender, slightly tantric relationship is off to a galloping, farting start.
Each print copy of this book will be dipped in holy water by my mom, and glared at by my father as he purses his lips. Neither will help. So, drop your pants and turn to the left and cough. I hope you're not allergic to latex, because it’s time to fill your prescription. Anally.
Johnson Fitzwell’s first day of his dream career also happens to coincide with the exact moment Dove needs her feminine meds filled. His glorious voice is way too loud–as in, he should be counting down the hits with Ryan Seacrest kind of loud. Thanks to Johnson’s handsome face and gorgeous jaw line, Dove dives headlong into her waking nightmare and asks for a vagina-scented cream.
How could she not fall for him? Dove's only active goal now is to get Johnson to kiss her right on the lips. Either set. However, his horrible girlfriend is one of many obstacles preventing her from making that fantasy a reality. When Dove defends Johnson in the most unhygienic, unconventionally gross way in the middle of a crowded restaurant, their tender, slightly tantric relationship is off to a galloping, farting start.
Each print copy of this book will be dipped in holy water by my mom, and glared at by my father as he purses his lips. Neither will help. So, drop your pants and turn to the left and cough. I hope you're not allergic to latex, because it’s time to fill your prescription. Anally.
282 pages, Paperback
First published February 28, 2015
About the author
Debra Anastasia
41 books3,805 followers 🔪💃Lady Mafia Cover Reveal 💃🔪
Release Date: March 26, 2023
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The latest novel by Debra Anastasia, LADY MAFIA is an action-packed, sexy mafia romance that is sure to keep you on the edge of your seat.
Leto is on a mission to rescue his brother from the clutches of a crime boss, but his plans take an unexpected turn when he kidnaps three women who aren't who he thought they were.
As Indy, Aster and Zinny navigate through dangerous situations, unexpected romances emerge and alliances are formed in the most unlikely of circumstances. Their bachelorette vacation ends up with a lot more weapons and scary men than anyone anticipated.
Will they be able to outsmart the criminals and save the day?
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Get ready to join the LADY MAFIA!
💃🔪Goodreads link:
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💃🔪Debra’s Newsletter for updates:**https://bit.ly/DebraAnastasiaNewsletter**
Goodreads link:
https://bit.ly/LADYMAFIAGOODREADS
Debra’s Newsletter for updates: https://bit.ly/DebraNewsletter
Release Date: March 26, 2023
Kindle Unlimited (Print through most retailers)
The latest novel by Debra Anastasia, LADY MAFIA is an action-packed, sexy mafia romance that is sure to keep you on the edge of your seat.
Leto is on a mission to rescue his brother from the clutches of a crime boss, but his plans take an unexpected turn when he kidnaps three women who aren't who he thought they were.
As Indy, Aster and Zinny navigate through dangerous situations, unexpected romances emerge and alliances are formed in the most unlikely of circumstances. Their bachelorette vacation ends up with a lot more weapons and scary men than anyone anticipated.
Will they be able to outsmart the criminals and save the day?
Find out in this action-packed adventure full of twists and turns.
Get ready to join the LADY MAFIA!
💃🔪Goodreads link:
https://bit.ly/LADYMAFIAGOODREADS
💃🔪Debra’s Newsletter for updates:**https://bit.ly/DebraAnastasiaNewsletter**
Goodreads link:
https://bit.ly/LADYMAFIAGOODREADS
Debra’s Newsletter for updates: https://bit.ly/DebraNewsletter
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 543 reviews
January 6, 2015
I was tempted to give this filth one star, but in the interests of this being its only 5 star review, I will commit to the whole shebang.
It is the worst story ever told. It's difficult to assign a genre to this pile of weirdness because it was rejected from every group it tried to join. So now it sits in its underwear crying to Ed Sheeran and hoping someone will call it pretty.
It is not pretty. It's supposed to be comedy, but with all the farts and cursing who the hell knows? Maybe it's a parody? Sure. A comedy parody new adult horror tale of innocence.
It's really just a shame. That should be its genre. Shame Adult Parody. Let peace be with you. Cover your soft tissue. We're going in.
It is the worst story ever told. It's difficult to assign a genre to this pile of weirdness because it was rejected from every group it tried to join. So now it sits in its underwear crying to Ed Sheeran and hoping someone will call it pretty.
It is not pretty. It's supposed to be comedy, but with all the farts and cursing who the hell knows? Maybe it's a parody? Sure. A comedy parody new adult horror tale of innocence.
It's really just a shame. That should be its genre. Shame Adult Parody. Let peace be with you. Cover your soft tissue. We're going in.
December 10, 2015
► Scientific BR with my MacHalo Freaks starting Nov. 7, 2015.
DNF at 31%
The author says in the acknowledgements that anyone who finishes this book deserves a medal. No shit.
Rarely have I read such a piece of trash. Who wrote this? A hormonal teenage boy? It sure seems like it. Compared to this book the American Pie movies are highly creative, intellectual masterpieces. This is just the most vulgar, tasteless, stupid, idiotic thing I was ever given to read. And what the hell is up with the author herself being a character in the story (as the "weird porn author" neighbour *eyeroll*)?! Self-absorbed much?!
You might get a laugh out of this if you find UTIs, vaginal diseases, poop, farts and burps hilarious. And if you like TSTL, brainless, immature characters who are nothing but ridiculous, pathetic caricatures. And if you don't mind reading poor, lousy attempts at parody. If this what this is book is supposed to be. Personally? I think it's just plain crap.
►► No I didn't like this. No I have no sense of humour whatsoever. Yes I'd rather be reading YA. Or Historical Romance.
DNF at 31%
The author says in the acknowledgements that anyone who finishes this book deserves a medal. No shit.
Rarely have I read such a piece of trash. Who wrote this? A hormonal teenage boy? It sure seems like it. Compared to this book the American Pie movies are highly creative, intellectual masterpieces. This is just the most vulgar, tasteless, stupid, idiotic thing I was ever given to read. And what the hell is up with the author herself being a character in the story (as the "weird porn author" neighbour *eyeroll*)?! Self-absorbed much?!
You might get a laugh out of this if you find UTIs, vaginal diseases, poop, farts and burps hilarious. And if you like TSTL, brainless, immature characters who are nothing but ridiculous, pathetic caricatures. And if you don't mind reading poor, lousy attempts at parody. If this what this is book is supposed to be. Personally? I think it's just plain crap.
►► No I didn't like this. No I have no sense of humour whatsoever. Yes I'd rather be reading YA. Or Historical Romance.
February 10, 2015
Fire Down Below was unlike anything I have ever read. It was so awkward and cringeworthy and SO funny all at the same time!
I lost count of the amount of fart and poop mentions in this book, but I laughed every time!
Debra Anastasia is amazingly funny and has the ability to tell a great story aside from the funnies.
My fave line:
"Johnson reached into his pocket and pulled out...
HIS DICK!
No, it was a pocketknife."
This was such a great read!!!
I lost count of the amount of fart and poop mentions in this book, but I laughed every time!
Debra Anastasia is amazingly funny and has the ability to tell a great story aside from the funnies.
My fave line:
"Johnson reached into his pocket and pulled out...
HIS DICK!
No, it was a pocketknife."
This was such a great read!!!
March 23, 2015
Um. Did....did that....yeah....she went there...is that...um...did she....whaaaaat.... how do I put this?
If memory serves me correctly, I don't recall ever reading a romance before where the heroine shat her pants. Or stood up in an Olive Garden and publicly declared her need for ointment for her vaginal afflictions. I mean, what the actual hell is happening in this book, Debra Anastasia?
I totally commend this author for what she did here. I got what she was going for, an outside the box, totally over the top, silly, raunchy, explicit romance. It read exactly like a more vulgar, raunchy version of the American Pie movies, if that can be believed. Like an exponentially dirtier slapstick comedy. Totally crazy, unashamed characters that find nothing bizarre about any of their antics or outlandish dialogue. While there were aspects of the book I liked, I simply didn't connect with this story as a whole.
Debra Anastasia is a phenomenal writer. She has a way with words that even when she's writing the absolutely absurd type of story that she delivered here, her writing style is stellar... lyrical and poetic and solid. I really liked Johnson, the pharmacist. I also liked Dove when she was with him, who she was when she was with him. Even through their mishaps and how unbelievably awkward they were together, there was still an adorable chemistry between them. Johnson was the highlight for me. The story is wrought with secondary characters that had my jaw on the floor, had me looking around for someone to confirm that I wasn't just imagining the absolute craziness that I thought I was reading. And the ending was a surprise, shifting in a direction I never saw coming before ending on a seriously angsty cliffhanger.
I appreciate Debra Anastasia's intention with this story. Fire Down Below was deliberately written to be crude and vulgar and funny and not taken very seriously. ::Whispers:: ... I didn't find it very funny.... I wanted to laugh. I had my laugh face all ready. I kept waiting for it. But alas, nothing. Not even a snicker. Which I think is just a matter of personal taste. I like sarcasm, I like wit, I like underhanded, dry humor. I think the too-crazy-to-be-believed nature of this story was just not for me. But I totally understand why other readers are going to love this. They're going to find the humor that evaded me, without a doubt.
If memory serves me correctly, I don't recall ever reading a romance before where the heroine shat her pants. Or stood up in an Olive Garden and publicly declared her need for ointment for her vaginal afflictions. I mean, what the actual hell is happening in this book, Debra Anastasia?
I totally commend this author for what she did here. I got what she was going for, an outside the box, totally over the top, silly, raunchy, explicit romance. It read exactly like a more vulgar, raunchy version of the American Pie movies, if that can be believed. Like an exponentially dirtier slapstick comedy. Totally crazy, unashamed characters that find nothing bizarre about any of their antics or outlandish dialogue. While there were aspects of the book I liked, I simply didn't connect with this story as a whole.
Debra Anastasia is a phenomenal writer. She has a way with words that even when she's writing the absolutely absurd type of story that she delivered here, her writing style is stellar... lyrical and poetic and solid. I really liked Johnson, the pharmacist. I also liked Dove when she was with him, who she was when she was with him. Even through their mishaps and how unbelievably awkward they were together, there was still an adorable chemistry between them. Johnson was the highlight for me. The story is wrought with secondary characters that had my jaw on the floor, had me looking around for someone to confirm that I wasn't just imagining the absolute craziness that I thought I was reading. And the ending was a surprise, shifting in a direction I never saw coming before ending on a seriously angsty cliffhanger.
I appreciate Debra Anastasia's intention with this story. Fire Down Below was deliberately written to be crude and vulgar and funny and not taken very seriously. ::Whispers:: ... I didn't find it very funny.... I wanted to laugh. I had my laugh face all ready. I kept waiting for it. But alas, nothing. Not even a snicker. Which I think is just a matter of personal taste. I like sarcasm, I like wit, I like underhanded, dry humor. I think the too-crazy-to-be-believed nature of this story was just not for me. But I totally understand why other readers are going to love this. They're going to find the humor that evaded me, without a doubt.
February 6, 2017
Well, I finally read this festering wound of a book. I felt I had to, since it was my fault for finding it, after all. I've certainly done my penance as I read this in full. Yes, in full. I now require the highest concentration of rubbing alcohol available for my memory. No one should have to be subjected to such a horrible book. It's like gangre on a hairy man's ass, that you're required to look at for hours, in close proximity.
I would rather brush the teeth of a rabid raccoon than ever read anything by this author, or this book for that matter, again.
Now about this book: It's all about this very TSTL chick, named Dove, I wish she'd be hunted and made into someone's dinner like a real dove (that would've made a much more interesting story). Anyway, it's about her wanting to hump the hot pharmacist who filled her vaginal infection cream prescription, because nothing says "do me now" like infected genitals. What proceeds is the pharmacist being a giant naive idiot that notices nothing, for example, the time Dove craps her pants and is talking to him. Nothing at all. He's a simpleton. The rest of the book is about her worthless neighbors, the one guy neighbor with his hands always fondling his grease laden junk, the friend that only speaks 10 words a day, the couple that are porn stars, and Dove trying to get the pharmacist interested in her dysfunctional groin area. She's completely worthless at seduction, btw, along with life. Epic fail at life.
The book is full of poop, fart, embarrassing, etc. "humor". It's not the kind of awkward, embarrassing humor you laugh at on SNL or Bridesmaids, it's the type where you burn the book or change the channel. The "humor" is seriously overdone, to the point that it's on every page. It gets old quickly, as in within the first three pages.
Conclusion: I wished every character would die in the book.
BR with the MacHalos, because nothing says romance like yeast infections and poop humor/antics. Yeah, we need professional help.
I imagine the book is going to be a lot of this...
I would rather brush the teeth of a rabid raccoon than ever read anything by this author, or this book for that matter, again.
Now about this book: It's all about this very TSTL chick, named Dove, I wish she'd be hunted and made into someone's dinner like a real dove (that would've made a much more interesting story). Anyway, it's about her wanting to hump the hot pharmacist who filled her vaginal infection cream prescription, because nothing says "do me now" like infected genitals. What proceeds is the pharmacist being a giant naive idiot that notices nothing, for example, the time Dove craps her pants and is talking to him. Nothing at all. He's a simpleton. The rest of the book is about her worthless neighbors, the one guy neighbor with his hands always fondling his grease laden junk, the friend that only speaks 10 words a day, the couple that are porn stars, and Dove trying to get the pharmacist interested in her dysfunctional groin area. She's completely worthless at seduction, btw, along with life. Epic fail at life.
The book is full of poop, fart, embarrassing, etc. "humor". It's not the kind of awkward, embarrassing humor you laugh at on SNL or Bridesmaids, it's the type where you burn the book or change the channel. The "humor" is seriously overdone, to the point that it's on every page. It gets old quickly, as in within the first three pages.
Conclusion: I wished every character would die in the book.
BR with the MacHalos, because nothing says romance like yeast infections and poop humor/antics. Yeah, we need professional help.
I imagine the book is going to be a lot of this...
February 28, 2015
Book – Fire Down Below (Gynazule #1)
Author – Debra Anastasia
Publication Date – February 28, 2015
Genre – Humor/Romance
Type – Part of Series
Cliffhanger – Kind of
Rating –5 out of 5 Stars
Complimentary Copy generously provided by the author in exchange for an honest review.
My Thoughts - Story
My first thoughts when finishing this story was:
♦♦♦ 5 Poopilicious-Yeasty-Assalanche Stars ♦♦♦
I wanted to die last night when I read the last paragraph....NOOOOOOO Debra!! I so hate you now.
You are a drug which my body craves - this book is ME
Yes, I admit - I am Dove - I am the sharting, klutzy, sex starved embarrassment to woman-kind everywhere. I can fart with the best of them and can't seem to find my filter when it comes to relating everything in life to bodily functions or sex.
I love you Debra for making yesterday one of the funniest days of my life. ♥
Full review to come once I can make sense of this trash!
Now that I have had time to contemplate this utter nutter butter shit…I realize that I would rate it more than 5 sharting stars if I could. This is definitely not what you expect from Ms. Anastasia if you read her Poughkeepsie series. Honestly though, the both do have something in common. I cried while reading both…Poughkeepsie with tears of sadness and Fire Down Below with tears of laughter. The only thing that keeps going through my head is that Ms. Anastasia is a very diversified author. She blows each genre she writes about out of the water!
I had a blast reading this and I am going to leave you with some parting thoughts…
…Don’t read at work (if you are sneaking this)
…Wear a panty-liner or adult diapers
…Don’t take a sip of a beverage while reading. Take a break and remove your eyes from the words!
…Don’t read if you are gassy – you may just get a surprise.
...Wear waterproof mascara
Reason for Reading – Author Request
Story – 5 out of 5 Stars
Steam – 5 out of 5 Stars
Angst – 5 out of 5 Stars
Writing – 5 out of 5 Stars
Content Flow – 5 out of 5 Stars
HEA (Spoiler) – Not going to tell-I dare you to read!
For more Reviews, Free E-books and Giveaways
Author – Debra Anastasia
Publication Date – February 28, 2015
Genre – Humor/Romance
Type – Part of Series
Cliffhanger – Kind of
Rating –5 out of 5 Stars
Complimentary Copy generously provided by the author in exchange for an honest review.
My Thoughts - Story
My first thoughts when finishing this story was:
♦♦♦ 5 Poopilicious-Yeasty-Assalanche Stars ♦♦♦
I wanted to die last night when I read the last paragraph....NOOOOOOO Debra!! I so hate you now.
You are a drug which my body craves - this book is ME
Yes, I admit - I am Dove - I am the sharting, klutzy, sex starved embarrassment to woman-kind everywhere. I can fart with the best of them and can't seem to find my filter when it comes to relating everything in life to bodily functions or sex.
I love you Debra for making yesterday one of the funniest days of my life. ♥
Full review to come once I can make sense of this trash!
Now that I have had time to contemplate this utter nutter butter shit…I realize that I would rate it more than 5 sharting stars if I could. This is definitely not what you expect from Ms. Anastasia if you read her Poughkeepsie series. Honestly though, the both do have something in common. I cried while reading both…Poughkeepsie with tears of sadness and Fire Down Below with tears of laughter. The only thing that keeps going through my head is that Ms. Anastasia is a very diversified author. She blows each genre she writes about out of the water!
I had a blast reading this and I am going to leave you with some parting thoughts…
…Don’t read at work (if you are sneaking this)
…Wear a panty-liner or adult diapers
…Don’t take a sip of a beverage while reading. Take a break and remove your eyes from the words!
…Don’t read if you are gassy – you may just get a surprise.
...Wear waterproof mascara
Reason for Reading – Author Request
Story – 5 out of 5 Stars
Steam – 5 out of 5 Stars
Angst – 5 out of 5 Stars
Writing – 5 out of 5 Stars
Content Flow – 5 out of 5 Stars
HEA (Spoiler) – Not going to tell-I dare you to read!
For more Reviews, Free E-books and Giveaways
May 16, 2015
“She could feel her pussy lips starting to swell like she had overdosed on lip plumper. Like she had fucked a gang of angry bees.”
I am still wondering why the hell I said yes when Debra asked me If I wanna to read this. I knew from the beginning this story was going to a nightmare. And what a nightmare.
The story is awkward, scary and crazy.
Is it a romantic story? is there drama? Ugly cry? Is it dark? Erotic? Who the hell knows. The only thing I know is I need lots of therapy after this.
If you are brave enough and want an insane ride go ahead and read it. You don't know what "Hilarious" means until you read this story.
One more thing If you are allergic to cats, don't read it. There are cats and then there is Steve the Cat. He is a menace.
July 22, 2018
I tried really hard to like this book, but within 5 pages, I realized I couldn't force it. It was funny. If you like dirty jokes and humor, you'll find plenty of that here and I loved that part. I even loved the side characters. I didn't like Dove. It was really hard to get into this chick. I wasn't on board with the romance between her and Johnson. Maybe it will be fleshed out and seem more real in the following book, but I didn't love this story enough to discover if that's true. So two stars for the many laughs, especially from Duke, who somehow got the other POV although he wasn't the main love interest.
January 8, 2015
Much like a persistent yeast infection; this love story will make you burn with the fire of a thousand suns, and wish there was some kind of effective medicine to erase the the unyielding itch in your heart and your pants. Debra Anastasia writes underpants humour like no one else.
March 1, 2015
What a crack book!
I love the first half, got me laughing and crying. The second half was a doozy, it made me snort anyway most of the time it made me laughing out loud I don't know if I needed some eye bleach reading this.
This is one of my fav part in the story:
I love the first half, got me laughing and crying. The second half was a doozy, it made me snort anyway most of the time it made me laughing out loud I don't know if I needed some eye bleach reading this.
This is one of my fav part in the story:
The male squirrel dropped his nut and jumped quickly behind the female squirrel,
The male squirrel refused to read Dove’s mind and started climbing on the female squirrel, The obscene, public intercourse ended with one final, furry pump. The female never even dropped her nut.
March 23, 2015
When Dove goes to her local drug store to pick up her prescription, Johnson (the pharmacist) not only catches her eye, but shouts about her lady business; leaving our awkward Dove a little red in the face. A series of mishaps, misunderstandings and gas-gone-wrong moments ensue as Dove tries her best to seduce him.
So I have to say the start of this story had me laughing pretty badly but then things just fell off. A lot of over the top humor that didn’t have enough seriousness to it to make this story work for me. With so much crazy humor tossed in, I really tried to strip away some of the antics to see if I could feel drawn to the story underneath, but I just couldn’t find it. The story, which did exist – just didn’t stand out enough. I struggled to finish this particular story and really wanted to like it, but this one was just not for me.
So I have to say the start of this story had me laughing pretty badly but then things just fell off. A lot of over the top humor that didn’t have enough seriousness to it to make this story work for me. With so much crazy humor tossed in, I really tried to strip away some of the antics to see if I could feel drawn to the story underneath, but I just couldn’t find it. The story, which did exist – just didn’t stand out enough. I struggled to finish this particular story and really wanted to like it, but this one was just not for me.
Shelved as 'nope-nope-nope'
November 6, 2015WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK??!!
I am not reading this.
I am not reading this.
March 7, 2015
I am not sure what to say. I can't decide what I think about Fire Down Below. I read this over a week ago and while some parts still have me snickering, others I can't bleach out of my mind, lol. I have stated in past reviews that would read anything Debra Anastasia wrote and this sure tested that theory! I cringed, gagged, and had my mind boggled while reading this book (and I still feel a bit dirty).
If you are a fan of stoner comedies, like Harold and Kumar, or enjoyed movies like Porky's, then that might get you in the right mind set for Fire Down Below. I think Debra Anastasia is a brave woman for putting this out there for the public and in between the sharts, pooping and crazy awkward scenarios with cock rings, there is a thread of story that I may not be able to stay away from. Damn you Debra!
Fire Down Below is not for everyone, it is kind of like a train wreck, you don't want to look, but you have to look. If you are a brave reader with a love of crass language and toilet humor then this will light up your weekend for sure....I promise if you do, you will never look at Slim Jim's the same!
If you are a fan of stoner comedies, like Harold and Kumar, or enjoyed movies like Porky's, then that might get you in the right mind set for Fire Down Below. I think Debra Anastasia is a brave woman for putting this out there for the public and in between the sharts, pooping and crazy awkward scenarios with cock rings, there is a thread of story that I may not be able to stay away from. Damn you Debra!
Fire Down Below is not for everyone, it is kind of like a train wreck, you don't want to look, but you have to look. If you are a brave reader with a love of crass language and toilet humor then this will light up your weekend for sure....I promise if you do, you will never look at Slim Jim's the same!
March 1, 2015
So, have you ever had a friend tell you, “don’t look now, but…”? Or have you ever driven past a horrible car wreck on the highway and you can’t help but look? Have you ever seen someone get severely injured and not been able to help them because you sat there in stunned disbelief? All of that is this book. And then some.
I will warn you now not to read this book but if you are anything like me you will not heed this warning, and you will do what you want anyways.
If you do decide to disregard my warning, I suggest you not read this in public for fear you may be placed in a mental intuition for uncontrolled laughing, and possibly unwanted bodily noises escaping from laughing so hard.
Yes, this book appealed to the 7 year old boy who lives within my head and loved all things farts and violence from pu--ies. I laughed so hard at times I feared my family would make that fated call to the local head doctor and have me committed.
I can’t warn you enough not to read this book. Here are a few highlights that I hope you scare you enough into staying away…
“I don’t put weird things down… there. Just make sure that cream’s vagina-scented. Just Plain. For vaginas.”
“Are you some kind of pedo-feline perv?”
I look like a tiny, drunk leprechaun scalped parts of my cooter. There is no hair on the towel… Where’s is going? Did it melt? Am I melting my pu--y hair? GOOD GOD!
So, if I have not scared you off from reading this book by now, I suggest you get yourself on Amazon, or whatever site you use to buy crap books, and buy this one now! ~ Devlynn, 5 stars
~~~
When I read the blurb for Fire Down Below, I thought it was really humorous and weird, so I was like: "Yes, please!" I totally wanted to read it and I just couldn't wait to get my hands on it! It looked like it was going to be hilarious, hopefully hot, and crazy which are things I love. It came as no surprise to me when I loved this book from the first page and it's the funniest book I've ever read!
Now I'll admit to you that it's not hard to make me laugh--like, at all. I'm serious, I can pretty much find something to laugh, chuckle, or snort at in just about any book I read. You might be asking what makes me be able to then say that Fire Down Below is funny--the funniest book I've read--and I'll tell you because while you could make me laugh with just a silly facial expression, the real challenge is to make me laugh so hard that I cry. I very rarely cry from laughing, but Ms. Anastasia made me laugh so hard that it hurt and I cried a little. I told my friend and I'll tell you: This book is FREAKING HILARIOUS!!!!
Ms. Anastasia pulled a fast one me though. I thought Fire Down Below was just going to be a light, if somewhat weird, but not too complicated book. However, that just isn't the case because it turned out to be way more complicated than I originally thought and it left me feeling conflicted. I don't want to spoil anything, so I won't tell you what it was. I will say that I thought there wouldn't be any really beautiful moments or series moments or ones that left me utterly heartsick, but there were. There is definitely something under the surface and while you very much need to have a sense of humor to read this because of everything that's in it, just know that you're getting more than a simple goofy story.
Fire Down Below ends in a cliffhanger so there's no HEA yet. It's told from Dove's POV, but it also told from her friend Duke's as well and can I just say that I absolutely LOVED him?! I mean seriously, Duke just completely stole me heart despite how crazy he is! Oh, who am I kidding? He stole my because of his craziness and I can't wait to see more of him and all these wacky characters in the next book!!! ~ Paige, 5 stars
I will warn you now not to read this book but if you are anything like me you will not heed this warning, and you will do what you want anyways.
If you do decide to disregard my warning, I suggest you not read this in public for fear you may be placed in a mental intuition for uncontrolled laughing, and possibly unwanted bodily noises escaping from laughing so hard.
Yes, this book appealed to the 7 year old boy who lives within my head and loved all things farts and violence from pu--ies. I laughed so hard at times I feared my family would make that fated call to the local head doctor and have me committed.
I can’t warn you enough not to read this book. Here are a few highlights that I hope you scare you enough into staying away…
“I don’t put weird things down… there. Just make sure that cream’s vagina-scented. Just Plain. For vaginas.”
“Are you some kind of pedo-feline perv?”
I look like a tiny, drunk leprechaun scalped parts of my cooter. There is no hair on the towel… Where’s is going? Did it melt? Am I melting my pu--y hair? GOOD GOD!
So, if I have not scared you off from reading this book by now, I suggest you get yourself on Amazon, or whatever site you use to buy crap books, and buy this one now! ~ Devlynn, 5 stars
~~~
When I read the blurb for Fire Down Below, I thought it was really humorous and weird, so I was like: "Yes, please!" I totally wanted to read it and I just couldn't wait to get my hands on it! It looked like it was going to be hilarious, hopefully hot, and crazy which are things I love. It came as no surprise to me when I loved this book from the first page and it's the funniest book I've ever read!
Now I'll admit to you that it's not hard to make me laugh--like, at all. I'm serious, I can pretty much find something to laugh, chuckle, or snort at in just about any book I read. You might be asking what makes me be able to then say that Fire Down Below is funny--the funniest book I've read--and I'll tell you because while you could make me laugh with just a silly facial expression, the real challenge is to make me laugh so hard that I cry. I very rarely cry from laughing, but Ms. Anastasia made me laugh so hard that it hurt and I cried a little. I told my friend and I'll tell you: This book is FREAKING HILARIOUS!!!!
Ms. Anastasia pulled a fast one me though. I thought Fire Down Below was just going to be a light, if somewhat weird, but not too complicated book. However, that just isn't the case because it turned out to be way more complicated than I originally thought and it left me feeling conflicted. I don't want to spoil anything, so I won't tell you what it was. I will say that I thought there wouldn't be any really beautiful moments or series moments or ones that left me utterly heartsick, but there were. There is definitely something under the surface and while you very much need to have a sense of humor to read this because of everything that's in it, just know that you're getting more than a simple goofy story.
Fire Down Below ends in a cliffhanger so there's no HEA yet. It's told from Dove's POV, but it also told from her friend Duke's as well and can I just say that I absolutely LOVED him?! I mean seriously, Duke just completely stole me heart despite how crazy he is! Oh, who am I kidding? He stole my because of his craziness and I can't wait to see more of him and all these wacky characters in the next book!!! ~ Paige, 5 stars
February 27, 2015
*crickets*
What....the....hell was that? I feel like I need to take a 2 hour shower.
The best way to describe this book, Slapstick. Its like 3-Stooges meets, well, someone pretty gross.
Lots of fart and dick jokes. If those offend you, do NOT read this book. I will admit, I had to read this book in small doses. While I did actually laugh out loud, the humor was a bit much for one full on sitting.
Dove, the heroin in this book seems pretty quiet for the most part. Very awkward, that's for sure. Her and her crazy cat, Steve are just some of the fun you'll have in this crazy whirlwind of disastrous events. Her 2 best friends, Shannon and Flower, each weird in their own ways as well.
Duke, her downstairs neighbor, is just outright disgusting in a weirdly awesome way. Then you have the other neighbors, the "Anastasia's". Leave it to Debra to put that in this book and make herself a porn writing vixen.
Dove meets Johnson Fitzmore when she goes to pick up her prescription. The events that happen afterwards are just downright silly and absurd. Poor Johnson gets caught in many of this groups antics and pays the price for it. I think he is sweet with his weird obsession with numbers and " the twitter".
But that cliffy... dang it! I don't want to be mad at Johnson. He seems so sweet and oblivious. Please fix the situation a.s.a.p Debra!
I give this a 4 stars for being crazy, original, and full of "out there" shenanigans.
***Given as an ARC for my honest review***
What....the....hell was that? I feel like I need to take a 2 hour shower.
The best way to describe this book, Slapstick. Its like 3-Stooges meets, well, someone pretty gross.
Lots of fart and dick jokes. If those offend you, do NOT read this book. I will admit, I had to read this book in small doses. While I did actually laugh out loud, the humor was a bit much for one full on sitting.
Dove, the heroin in this book seems pretty quiet for the most part. Very awkward, that's for sure. Her and her crazy cat, Steve are just some of the fun you'll have in this crazy whirlwind of disastrous events. Her 2 best friends, Shannon and Flower, each weird in their own ways as well.
Duke, her downstairs neighbor, is just outright disgusting in a weirdly awesome way. Then you have the other neighbors, the "Anastasia's". Leave it to Debra to put that in this book and make herself a porn writing vixen.
Dove meets Johnson Fitzmore when she goes to pick up her prescription. The events that happen afterwards are just downright silly and absurd. Poor Johnson gets caught in many of this groups antics and pays the price for it. I think he is sweet with his weird obsession with numbers and " the twitter".
But that cliffy... dang it! I don't want to be mad at Johnson. He seems so sweet and oblivious. Please fix the situation a.s.a.p Debra!
I give this a 4 stars for being crazy, original, and full of "out there" shenanigans.
***Given as an ARC for my honest review***
March 6, 2015
This is a giant fucking joke right?!? Is this a way for authors to punk us bloggers into sounding like complete idiots?
This book was awful. The fart jokes and genital talk were juvenile at best and were in abundance. This book made me cringe more often than smile but somehow I still couldn't stop reading it!!
How did I fall in love with these characters....how?!?! Why did I NEED to know how this played out? Why do I need more?
A reader today asked me if I recommend it. My reply was as follows:
With good conscience I cannot recommend this to anyone....but it's definitely worth a go. There is no way to explain this other than no, just, no....go read it now. Does that even make sense?!? It's awful and horrible but it's so good. This is not helping.
I'm actually really, really looking forward to the next book. I need to know if Duke is the man I want him to be and if Johnson is something completely different than I thought he was throughout the story.
I'm not sure if I should be praising Debra Anastasia for her brilliance or cursing her for all the ick I feel after reading this book.
*I received an ARC from the author in exchange for an honest review
This book was awful. The fart jokes and genital talk were juvenile at best and were in abundance. This book made me cringe more often than smile but somehow I still couldn't stop reading it!!
How did I fall in love with these characters....how?!?! Why did I NEED to know how this played out? Why do I need more?
A reader today asked me if I recommend it. My reply was as follows:
With good conscience I cannot recommend this to anyone....but it's definitely worth a go. There is no way to explain this other than no, just, no....go read it now. Does that even make sense?!? It's awful and horrible but it's so good. This is not helping.
I'm actually really, really looking forward to the next book. I need to know if Duke is the man I want him to be and if Johnson is something completely different than I thought he was throughout the story.
I'm not sure if I should be praising Debra Anastasia for her brilliance or cursing her for all the ick I feel after reading this book.
*I received an ARC from the author in exchange for an honest review
January 9, 2015
From the sick and twisted mind of one of the most spectacularly funny people on this planet, Fire Down Below will forever redefine what you think of as hilarious. Fair warning, Debra Anastasia will run away with your heart. (And your panties.)
A literary event not to be missed.
A literary event not to be missed.
March 18, 2015
I'm so sad to say that this book just wasn't for me. I'm sure it's a case of "It's not you, it's me." It started out funny, but just fell flat for me. The characters seemed a bit childish for me. I still want to read more by this author. Please don't take my word for it. It may just work for you.
May 13, 2015
Holy Crap! Still laughing
Wow, this was amazing! I've chuckled before while reading..I've smiled many times while reading, but FDB had me in hysterics! I woke my husband up reading in bed next to him, because I was shaking the bed so hard with my laughter. I don't know, maybe he thought I was masturbating and wanted in on the action..
Debra Anastasia has such a great storytelling ability! I can totally see these pages unfolding into a sitcom, maybe one on HBO or Cinnemax though lol
Can't wait for book 2
Read
November 8, 2015"I'd rather #selfie on the shitter than finish reading this book."
Yes. That.
Buddy Read with my fellow Freaks.
I just...that blurb...I...fuck it. I have to know what the fuck...
Yes. That.
Buddy Read with my fellow Freaks.
I just...that blurb...I...fuck it. I have to know what the fuck...
March 1, 2015
I was going to say that this book should come with a warning but it already does, not just from Debra but from lots of other authors and bloggers too.
This book was like reading Debra's twitter feed in book form. Seriously, if you follow Debra on social media you will already be semi- prepared for the ride that this story will take you on, if you don't follow her then you are well and truly going to wonder what the hell is going on!
No subject or orifice is off limits in this crazy story that will have you laughing so much you will pee your pants and also possibly have you on the verge of sharting. I am not kidding so be warned.
Okay so we have the lovely Dove. She works at the local park, looking after one of the children's rides. In her apartment building is a guy called Duke who she is kind of friends with, by default - he leaves his door open so she can't avoid walking it every day and seeing him. Also residing in this building are the Anastasia's. Yep you read this correctly, Debra not only wrote this book but she is in the story too.
And lastly there is Johnson. He is the new pharmacist down at Save Mart who seems to speak quite loudly to the customers filling their prescriptions, he has no idea that he is completely humiliating them about their various health issues. So when Dove goes in to get some cream for down below she is horrified to see that there is a new pharmacist, he is a man and he is gorgeous. Now the whole shop full of customers are about to be enlightened to her condition.
I'm not going to say any more about the story because you have to read it to believe it. There are so many inappropriate and hilarious moments in this book that I had to take a break just to breathe and empty my bladder. This is one hell of a ride and you will finish with a sense of "WTF did I just read?"
Honestly, if you are looking for something completely different and bodily functions don't freak you out then read this. Oh there are quite a few cats too!
This book was like reading Debra's twitter feed in book form. Seriously, if you follow Debra on social media you will already be semi- prepared for the ride that this story will take you on, if you don't follow her then you are well and truly going to wonder what the hell is going on!
No subject or orifice is off limits in this crazy story that will have you laughing so much you will pee your pants and also possibly have you on the verge of sharting. I am not kidding so be warned.
Okay so we have the lovely Dove. She works at the local park, looking after one of the children's rides. In her apartment building is a guy called Duke who she is kind of friends with, by default - he leaves his door open so she can't avoid walking it every day and seeing him. Also residing in this building are the Anastasia's. Yep you read this correctly, Debra not only wrote this book but she is in the story too.
And lastly there is Johnson. He is the new pharmacist down at Save Mart who seems to speak quite loudly to the customers filling their prescriptions, he has no idea that he is completely humiliating them about their various health issues. So when Dove goes in to get some cream for down below she is horrified to see that there is a new pharmacist, he is a man and he is gorgeous. Now the whole shop full of customers are about to be enlightened to her condition.
I'm not going to say any more about the story because you have to read it to believe it. There are so many inappropriate and hilarious moments in this book that I had to take a break just to breathe and empty my bladder. This is one hell of a ride and you will finish with a sense of "WTF did I just read?"
Honestly, if you are looking for something completely different and bodily functions don't freak you out then read this. Oh there are quite a few cats too!
March 5, 2015
This was just crazy and obnoxious and funny as hell! All those things that happen you don't want to talk about or admit too, they were covered. I felt like a 10 year old reading something I shouldn't and I enjoyed ever second of it.
In the midst of the madness is this insane cast of characters that are so outrageously over the top you can't help but love them. I couldn't wait to see what was going to happen next. Let me be clear, this was was over the top, potty mouth, ridiculous humor... if farting offends you, look away! I could not get enough of it because in the middle of it all, there was still this real girl with insecurities and I liked her a lot. There's a solid story mixed in with all the awkward. This was just ridiculously entertaining and so wrong in so many ways! It was full of raunchy potty mouth name calling, it was way (way!) over the top but at some point I didn't even care because it just all worked.
We've got a some wacked out friends, a sweet but loud pharmacist, a sausage eating neighbor, The Anastasias (holy crap I want to have a drink with this author in real life!) and a psycho cat. What's not to love?! I don't want to say more because I don't want to spoil it but by the end, I might have been rooting for the sausage eater.
One last thing… after reading all this madness and thinking “what the hell did I read and WHY did I like it?” one more thing happened – freaking cliffhanger. For real, I couldn't believe it. Figures. ;-)
Sign me up for more crazy because I need book 2 as soon as possible!
Complimentary copy received for honest review.
In the midst of the madness is this insane cast of characters that are so outrageously over the top you can't help but love them. I couldn't wait to see what was going to happen next. Let me be clear, this was was over the top, potty mouth, ridiculous humor... if farting offends you, look away! I could not get enough of it because in the middle of it all, there was still this real girl with insecurities and I liked her a lot. There's a solid story mixed in with all the awkward. This was just ridiculously entertaining and so wrong in so many ways! It was full of raunchy potty mouth name calling, it was way (way!) over the top but at some point I didn't even care because it just all worked.
We've got a some wacked out friends, a sweet but loud pharmacist, a sausage eating neighbor, The Anastasias (holy crap I want to have a drink with this author in real life!) and a psycho cat. What's not to love?! I don't want to say more because I don't want to spoil it but by the end, I might have been rooting for the sausage eater.
One last thing… after reading all this madness and thinking “what the hell did I read and WHY did I like it?” one more thing happened – freaking cliffhanger. For real, I couldn't believe it. Figures. ;-)
Sign me up for more crazy because I need book 2 as soon as possible!
Complimentary copy received for honest review.
April 24, 2015
*ARR (Advance Reader Review) - copy provided as a gift in exchange for an honest review...
Ever just sit there and think......I have no words..just ...none....speechless...blank, void, shocked LOL
So The first thing I want to point out in my review is WOW!!! Congrats to Deb for having balls of steel and not only writing this hot mess, but publishing it as well.
The next thing is - wth did I just read. Revolting, disgusting, crude, romantic, odd, strange, a hot fucked up mess and HILLARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!
Check out my full review on my blog as part of a tour (Feb 28th) : http://www.ljsecretaddiction.com/?p=4893
Ever just sit there and think......I have no words..just ...none....speechless...blank, void, shocked LOL
So The first thing I want to point out in my review is WOW!!! Congrats to Deb for having balls of steel and not only writing this hot mess, but publishing it as well.
The next thing is - wth did I just read. Revolting, disgusting, crude, romantic, odd, strange, a hot fucked up mess and HILLARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!
Check out my full review on my blog as part of a tour (Feb 28th) : http://www.ljsecretaddiction.com/?p=4893
March 7, 2015
OMFG!!!!!! PMSL, I have a sick mind and sick humour and this book was just HILARIOUS. I was laughing so hard I woke my man up (he did not get it). Looking forward to the next laugh fest :)
February 28, 2015
Fire Down Below tells the story of Dove, a young woman suffering from issues, you know, down below. Her new pharmacist, Dr. Fitzwell (I love this name) and several of Dove’s kooky friends are sure to entertain you. Their lives and daily interactions are quite unusual in a twisted and inappropriately humorous way.
Debra has no filters when it comes to writing and this story is evidence that her talent comes across in all genres. Speaking of genres, what genre is this?
Fire Down Below is shocking but totally hilarious. Have you ever seen the little faces on the wall in the Emergency Room, you know, the ones that ask you to rate your pain? Well, I think I made all of those faces while reading this book. I laughed, cringed, felt a bit nauseous and laughed over and over again.
Debra will delight you with her characters and their antics. It’s crazy because I could actually relate to this motley crew. I could actually see a little bit of people I actually know in each one of them. Duke, has to be the most bizarre and hilarious neighbor to have. He grew on me and I actually liked him a lot. I thought I had the craziest neighbors in real life. The nudists next door to me are nothing compared to this cast. (True Story, TMI?) Speaking of neighbors, I loved the crazy porn writer and her husband. Their surprising appearance added to the humor.
I know I smiled when I read about TK. I love The Kitty and his sexy tattooed owner from another book too.
You will encounter a nerdy and sexy pharmacist, a pervy hot dog vendor, crazy friends, strange body functions, lotions and putrid scents in this outlandish read. But, within all of this craziness, you will find a love story. While it may not be your traditional love story, you are going to enjoy it for sure. It is one-of-a-kind.
The ending, a cliffhanger! I can’t wait for the next book in this series.
Let me warn you, your e-Reader may short out after you’re done reading Fire Down Below.
I gave this hilarious book 5 stars! I received an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
March 4, 2015
Absolutely fucking ridiculous - but ohhhh so funny
This book was CRAZY. I'm not even sure how to rate it so I guess it's better to break it down:
The pros:
* HILARIOUS - I cannot tell you have many times I busted out laughing. This is one of those books best read alone, not in the company of others because it will cause some hard core giggling
* The characters (even secondary) were unrealistic, but you couldn’t help but like them all
* The writing style was one of a kind and irresistible
* Loved the cover
The cons:
* The story really lacked any sense of depth - if you are looking for a story that tugs your heartstrings and gets you emotional in any sort of way, this book is not for you
* It ends on somewhat of a cliffhanger - which pisses me off a bit (I realized it was a series, but figured future books would be based on some of the other bat shit cray characters) - For a story that lacks any real seriousness I expected it to be a standalone
* The romance was not there
Overall, if you are looking for a silly read that keeps you laughing, this will definitely do that for you. If you are looking for more than that, I cant say this fit the bill for me. I'm undecided on if I will continue this series when the book is available, but the odds are that I will, just because this shit was hilarious.
February 22, 2015
1. What did I just read?
2. OMG I couldn't stop laughing!
3. If there's anyone with lady-balls big enough to publish this, that's Debra!
This book is a joke, ridiculous and you will laugh your soul out. It's full of cliches and you won't know whether to cringe or laugh.
Sometimes, I did both.
Dove had some facepalm-worthy moments, while Johnson was stinkin' cute - yes, his name made me snort.
But I was surprised by one of the side characters - there's an array of them, they're all crazy and funny - who was disgusting but then kinda made my heart break.
Once you'll read the book, you'll understand.
If you want something to take your mind off problems, take you out of reality, in general - and make you laugh/cringe/chuckle, this is the book for you. I am actually curious about what's next.
#TeamDuke. 4 stars.
***Copy given by author in exchange of honest review***
2. OMG I couldn't stop laughing!
3. If there's anyone with lady-balls big enough to publish this, that's Debra!
This book is a joke, ridiculous and you will laugh your soul out. It's full of cliches and you won't know whether to cringe or laugh.
Sometimes, I did both.
Dove had some facepalm-worthy moments, while Johnson was stinkin' cute - yes, his name made me snort.
But I was surprised by one of the side characters - there's an array of them, they're all crazy and funny - who was disgusting but then kinda made my heart break.
Once you'll read the book, you'll understand.
If you want something to take your mind off problems, take you out of reality, in general - and make you laugh/cringe/chuckle, this is the book for you. I am actually curious about what's next.
#TeamDuke. 4 stars.
***Copy given by author in exchange of honest review***
Shelved as 'did-not-finish'
June 12, 2015dnf @ 55 pages in.
really funny to start but gets a bit ridiculous as it goes along. it's probably just a case of 'it's not you, it's me' as i usually enjoy some pretty out there humour but i wasn't feeling this one. maybe one day i'll try again.
really funny to start but gets a bit ridiculous as it goes along. it's probably just a case of 'it's not you, it's me' as i usually enjoy some pretty out there humour but i wasn't feeling this one. maybe one day i'll try again.
September 27, 2015
All joking aside, Debra is the funniest person I know.
Full Review to come.
Full Review to come.
February 22, 2015
So, have you ever had a friend tell you, “don’t look now, but…”? Or have you ever driven past a horrible car wreck on the highway and you can’t help but look? Have you ever seen someone get severely injured and not been able to help them because you sat there in stunned disbelief? All of that is this book. And then some.
I will warn you now not to read this book but if you are anything like me you will not heed this warning, and you will do what you want anyways.
If you do decide to disregard my warning, I suggest you not read this in public for fear you may be placed in a mental intuition for uncontrolled laughing, and possibly unwanted bodily noises escaping from laughing so hard.
Yes, this book appealed to the 7 year old boy who lives within my head and loved all things farts and violence from pu--ies. I laughed so hard at times I feared my family would make that fated call to the local head doctor and have me committed.
I can’t warn you enough not to read this book. Here are a few highlights that I hope you scare you enough into staying away…
“I don’t put weird things down… there. Just make sure that cream’s vagina-scented. Just Plain. For vaginas.”
“Are you some kind of pedo-feline perv?”
I look like a tiny, drunk leprechaun scalped parts of my cooter. There is no hair on the towel… Where’s is going? Did it melt? Am I melting my pu--y hair? GOOD GOD!
So, if I have not scared you off from reading this book by now, I suggest you get yourself on Amazon, or whatever site you use to buy crap books, and buy this one now!
I will warn you now not to read this book but if you are anything like me you will not heed this warning, and you will do what you want anyways.
If you do decide to disregard my warning, I suggest you not read this in public for fear you may be placed in a mental intuition for uncontrolled laughing, and possibly unwanted bodily noises escaping from laughing so hard.
Yes, this book appealed to the 7 year old boy who lives within my head and loved all things farts and violence from pu--ies. I laughed so hard at times I feared my family would make that fated call to the local head doctor and have me committed.
I can’t warn you enough not to read this book. Here are a few highlights that I hope you scare you enough into staying away…
“I don’t put weird things down… there. Just make sure that cream’s vagina-scented. Just Plain. For vaginas.”
“Are you some kind of pedo-feline perv?”
I look like a tiny, drunk leprechaun scalped parts of my cooter. There is no hair on the towel… Where’s is going? Did it melt? Am I melting my pu--y hair? GOOD GOD!
So, if I have not scared you off from reading this book by now, I suggest you get yourself on Amazon, or whatever site you use to buy crap books, and buy this one now!
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