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Little Boy Lost #1
Enlightened
Little Boy Lost is the story of Brian McAllister, the boy next door.
Brian goes to school, does his homework, and helps his foster parents around the house. Brian also has a secret: he is in love with his best friend, Jamie. But in Crayford, Alabama, being in love with another boy is the worst kind of sin.
Brian and Jamie will discover just how deep their emotional bond runs, and at what cost. What will they do if their secret is discovered? From fumbling through their first sexual experiences to hiding all aspects of their relationship from everyone in their lives, Brian and Jamie battle for the one thing that is truly theirs—love.
Brian goes to school, does his homework, and helps his foster parents around the house. Brian also has a secret: he is in love with his best friend, Jamie. But in Crayford, Alabama, being in love with another boy is the worst kind of sin.
Brian and Jamie will discover just how deep their emotional bond runs, and at what cost. What will they do if their secret is discovered? From fumbling through their first sexual experiences to hiding all aspects of their relationship from everyone in their lives, Brian and Jamie battle for the one thing that is truly theirs—love.
200 pages, ebook
First published February 28, 2010
About the author
J.P. Barnaby
41 books580 followersAn award-winning, best-selling novelist of over a dozen books, J. P. Barnaby is a proud member of the GLBT community both online and in her small town on the outskirts of Chicago. A member of Mensa, she is often described as brilliant but troubled, sweet but introverted and talented but deviant. She spends her days writing software and her nights writing erotica which is, of course, far more interesting. The spare time that she carves out between her career and her novels is spent reading about the concept of love, which, like some of her characters, she has never quite figured out for herself.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 135 reviews
February 7, 2013
3.5 stars
*rant before review* ...I feel very, very broken over those kids who have to go through their youth/schools feeling afraid, or ashamed, or having to hide, or being bullied for who they are. This book has this constant underlying fear buzzing through it as these 2 gay boys grow up in a small, very conservative town. More than anything, I wish I knew a way to help...
Let me just get out of the way the housekeeping stuff: the writing isn't great, IMO. Using 1st person POV only works w/ a very strong character to see things through. Though I love Brian, having to read this through the eyes of a teenager made me frustrated as a reader. Maybe it was actually GREAT writing to capture a very simplistic view point...but ultimately for me, it felt choppy and didn't flow.
HOWEVER...*sigh*...all I can feel by the end of this book is a DEEP, DEEP desire and need to protect Brian and Jamie. I hate that they have to live in such fear of what their tiny, bigoted town would think of them being gay. They are simply 2 boys in love trying to stay committed to one another. It breaks my heart over and over again the measures they had to go to to keep their relationship a secret and what eventually happens to them in the end...
Book 1 of this series is VERY YA, from my perspective (other than on-page sex scenes...which I actually found to be very sweet). But, I hear that the rest of the series progresses away from that (undoubtedly, as they grow up...)I'm scared to go through the rest of these books because I already feel very attached to the boys. We'll see what happens...
Sweet story, very emotional & a bit depressing...
January 16, 2012
Only pick up this book if you are prepared to be unable to put it down and have the next three volumes close at hand. The narrator, Brian, will capture your imagination and your heart, and this first installment does not end happily. Well-written and emotionally-engaging, this series follows the main couple, two boys, Brian and Jamie,from 16 and 17 through the next two years. I do wish the sex scenes hadn't been so explicit, because although they are very true and real, the content puts this series out of the range I can comfortably recommend for YA readers. With a little more fade-to-black, it could have captured both adult and YA audiences. I also had a moment of personal discomfort over a sensual description of a 16-year-old's experience in my reading. But if you love YA characters and emotional stories this one is highly recommended.
March 24, 2010
I {Brian} felt his warm breath on my face; he was so damn close. My heart rate accelerated wildly, and I could hear the blood pounding in my ears. He (Jamie) whispered, almost too softly for me to hear.
“Please…please don’t hate me.” {Jamie}
The, in the lightest of touches, soft but unyielding, his lips pressed against mine. My eyes closed , and I felt a rush of emotion, sexual tension – something- building within me. The kiss was delicate, sweet, and lingered just long enough to make me want more. I had waited my whole life for my first kiss, and while it wasn’t exactly how I’d pictured it in my youth, it was perfect. It was everything that a boy’s first kiss should be.
Only it wasn’t with a girl.
Review
Little Lost Boy tells the story of two teenage boys struggling to come to terms with their own sense of identity and sexuality as they make the transition into manhood. Told that homosexuality is a sin, Brian and Jaime combat their feelings of love, knowing that that their own sense of morality could lead to their own damnation. Taught that what they are feeling is depraved, this is a moving story of friendship and love that illuminates that even in the darkest of times, their still remains a shimmer of hope.
Brian is a foster child that for the first time, has finally found peace in the guise of an older altruistic couple. His friendship with Jaime begins to change into something more, something he can’t control. Grief stricken by his own inability to control his sexual desires, Brain painfully makes the decision to back away from his friendship and try to be something he knows deep down he can’t be. Straight.
[Blows nose and dabs at the sheen in my eyes:]… Cough, Cough, sorry it must be my allergies. [Clears throat:]. It’s not often that I get the chance to read about characters that have an innocent, unspoiled, love. I can’t imagine what it would be like to hide such an essential part of who you are for fear that you would be ostracized. What must it be like, to know that deep down, what you want might be impossible? The most poignant scene of the story has to be when Brain wants to go out on a real date with Jaime. Even though, they can’t appear as anything more than friends, Brian so enviously wants what normal couples don’t have to hide. Freedom to be seen as a couple. Fearful of being ‘caught’ Jaime brings places a sweatshirt over his armrest so that he and Brian can hold hands without being observed. Uh, just tear my heart out and stomp it to the ground why don’t you!
Add, a tearful ending and an insatiable need to read the next installment, Abandoned, I’ve fallen, hook, line and sinker, for these two.
I wonder what would it be like to see yourself as being ‘wrong’? How much of what we do or say is influenced by the acceptance of our peers? I applaud anyone who’s fought to keep their individuality even when it brought more pain than good. If you’re in the mood for a great coming of age, love story that successfully shows that an erotica novel can be based on love and intimacy then don’t wait to read this one!
May 4, 2010
Enlightened has gotten almost universally positive reviews and the story happily lives up to the hype. The author, JP Barnaby, has a great voice and the first book in a reported six book series offers an authentic and endearing teenage voice that will resonate with readers. The subject matter touches on honest emotions and situations that are still important and affecting. The only potential misstep is the choice to include several explicit sex scenes between teenagers – 16 and 17 – which may or may not bother readers. However, the writing, characters, and story arc carry the book with interest and an engaging tone.
The story follows Brian McAllister, an orphan and foster kid living with a childless but caring couple. Brian and his best friend Jamie are juniors in high school and have been inseparable for close to five years. As the summer rapidly approaches Brian and Jamie realize their feelings for each other go beyond friendship but living in a small town in Alabama, they know they have to hide their relationship. Over the course of several months, Brian and Jamie find love, discover sex together, and ultimately face tough choices when their relationship is threatened.
This is a coming of age for both young men although told from Brian’s first person perspective. The story really shines with great, complex characters as they struggle to understand their own desires and what it means for their future both immediately and long term. The action is mostly character driven as Brian struggles to understand his feelings towards Jamie and worries about condemnation from several sources. There is the local church Jamie’s parents are very active in that actively condemns homosexuals plus their high school, which wouldn’t take kindly to their outing either.
Brian’s almost extreme reactions are honest, authentic, and very telling. The story and writing shines in these interactions and there is a fabulous scene between Brian and his foster mother as he comes out to her, laying out all his fear, shame, and anger to which she quietly replies that she’s disappointed Brian is ashamed of himself. These complex emotions of teenagers come through with honesty and poignant dialogue. The characters are mostly all nuanced with reasons and backgrounds, even if seen in quiet, brief moments. There are no wooden characters or stereotypes, even as some edge into extreme, they all fit with the setting very well. Even the various several secondary characters from Jamie’s beard, Emily, to his parents and other students that all have engaging qualities.
The romance between Brian and Jamie is a main driving force in the story as the two boys find out they share a desire and later, love. They move from quiet, exhilarating hand holding to a first kiss with all the stomach tingling and butterflies that accompany that momentous time. The quiet moments between the two are touching and show that wonder and innocent excitement of first love and overwhelming emotion. Coupled with the need for secrecy, their journey and relationship is intense, emotional, and memorable. This lovely, easy progression also has a raw honesty about it as the story pulls no punches and offers two young, male teens exploring and discovering sexuality. They move from heady kisses to masturbation, then hand jobs, blow jobs and finally sex. Each of these scenes is graphic and explicit, which could turn some readers off or not.
On the one hand, there’s no question that teenagers newly in love at 16 and 17 are going to experiment with sex. The progression Brian and Jamie take is no doubt similar to what teenagers do on their own and in a first, serious relationship. So their awkward, cautious, joyous exploration is real. Yet I wonder why these scenes are included so often and so explicitly. The story doesn’t seem to be geared towards a younger target audience specifically and in fact reads like an erotic romance with teenage main characters, thus the inclusion of numerous graphic sex scenes is somewhat questionable given their age. While not everything has to be fade to black, I think the book would have been equally as powerful and intense without needing to include as much graphic sex. Whether this bothers readers is purely up to individual tastes.
Although the sex is a large, important part of the book, the story remains one that resonates with its honest appeal and charming, confused characters. These young men must deal with additional issues than just growing up and their opposite backgrounds come into play frequently. The deft handling and solid writing create a story that is immediately engaging, sympathetic, and compelling on many levels. Even with the huge, hanging ending, this remains an easily recommended story. I’m personally not a fan of leaving a thread hanging so obviously and baldly in series, but like others I eagerly look forward to the next installment.
The story follows Brian McAllister, an orphan and foster kid living with a childless but caring couple. Brian and his best friend Jamie are juniors in high school and have been inseparable for close to five years. As the summer rapidly approaches Brian and Jamie realize their feelings for each other go beyond friendship but living in a small town in Alabama, they know they have to hide their relationship. Over the course of several months, Brian and Jamie find love, discover sex together, and ultimately face tough choices when their relationship is threatened.
This is a coming of age for both young men although told from Brian’s first person perspective. The story really shines with great, complex characters as they struggle to understand their own desires and what it means for their future both immediately and long term. The action is mostly character driven as Brian struggles to understand his feelings towards Jamie and worries about condemnation from several sources. There is the local church Jamie’s parents are very active in that actively condemns homosexuals plus their high school, which wouldn’t take kindly to their outing either.
Brian’s almost extreme reactions are honest, authentic, and very telling. The story and writing shines in these interactions and there is a fabulous scene between Brian and his foster mother as he comes out to her, laying out all his fear, shame, and anger to which she quietly replies that she’s disappointed Brian is ashamed of himself. These complex emotions of teenagers come through with honesty and poignant dialogue. The characters are mostly all nuanced with reasons and backgrounds, even if seen in quiet, brief moments. There are no wooden characters or stereotypes, even as some edge into extreme, they all fit with the setting very well. Even the various several secondary characters from Jamie’s beard, Emily, to his parents and other students that all have engaging qualities.
The romance between Brian and Jamie is a main driving force in the story as the two boys find out they share a desire and later, love. They move from quiet, exhilarating hand holding to a first kiss with all the stomach tingling and butterflies that accompany that momentous time. The quiet moments between the two are touching and show that wonder and innocent excitement of first love and overwhelming emotion. Coupled with the need for secrecy, their journey and relationship is intense, emotional, and memorable. This lovely, easy progression also has a raw honesty about it as the story pulls no punches and offers two young, male teens exploring and discovering sexuality. They move from heady kisses to masturbation, then hand jobs, blow jobs and finally sex. Each of these scenes is graphic and explicit, which could turn some readers off or not.
On the one hand, there’s no question that teenagers newly in love at 16 and 17 are going to experiment with sex. The progression Brian and Jamie take is no doubt similar to what teenagers do on their own and in a first, serious relationship. So their awkward, cautious, joyous exploration is real. Yet I wonder why these scenes are included so often and so explicitly. The story doesn’t seem to be geared towards a younger target audience specifically and in fact reads like an erotic romance with teenage main characters, thus the inclusion of numerous graphic sex scenes is somewhat questionable given their age. While not everything has to be fade to black, I think the book would have been equally as powerful and intense without needing to include as much graphic sex. Whether this bothers readers is purely up to individual tastes.
Although the sex is a large, important part of the book, the story remains one that resonates with its honest appeal and charming, confused characters. These young men must deal with additional issues than just growing up and their opposite backgrounds come into play frequently. The deft handling and solid writing create a story that is immediately engaging, sympathetic, and compelling on many levels. Even with the huge, hanging ending, this remains an easily recommended story. I’m personally not a fan of leaving a thread hanging so obviously and baldly in series, but like others I eagerly look forward to the next installment.
May 28, 2011
4.5 stars
THE BLURB
Little Boy Lost is the story of Brian McAllister, the boy next door.
Brian goes to school, does his homework, and helps his foster parents around the house. Brian also has a secret. He is in love with his best friend. In Crayford, Alabama being in love with another boy is the worst kind of sin.
In this first book, Enlightened, Brian and Jamie discover just how deep their emotional bond runs, and at what cost. From fumbling through their first sexual experiences to shrouding every aspect of their relationship from everyone in their lives, Brian and Jamie battle for the one thing that is truly theirs—love.
What will they do if their secret is discovered?
THE REVIEW
I discovered this self-published book through a link at Goodreads. Because young adult, coming-of-age stories are my guilty pleasure, I bought the book immediately after reading a sample. I’m glad I did because it’s very good.
The story opens with Brian in church with his best friend Jamie. Brian isn’t religious but Jamie’s family is; if Brian spends the night at Jamie’s house on Saturday, he goes to church with the family on Sunday. On this particular day, the pastor is giving an “All homosexuals will burn in hell!” sermon and Brian is terrified because he has come to the realization that he is gay and he is deeply in love with Jamie. However, the only person who knows these two facts is Brian—for the moment.
Told from Brian’s first person POV, the story covers a six month period during which Brian and Jamie come to understand and accept their feelings for each other and ultimately consummate their relationship. This process isn’t easy because they live in a very small, very conservative town where homophobic feelings are the norm. Jamie must deal with his religious upbringing and beliefs while Brian is a foster child who worries that one misstep on his part will result in a phone call to the state and a new family placement for him. Even so, they provide support for each other through their love.
The biggest strength of this book is the developing sexual relationship between the two boys, which is told very lovingly and tenderly. Their initial explorations, fumbling touches, then a first kiss:
Just lovely.
The sex scenes are quite explicit—no fade to black here. At first I wondered if this was really a YA book then I remembered when I was fifteen, I was desperate to read anything about sex and usually all I got was a kiss. For a closeted, questioning young man living in a small town in the US (or anywhere, really) this book might just be what he needs to validate his feelings and tell him that it’s okay to fall in love with your best friend.
At first I thought that the depiction of Brian and Jamie’s fear about being found out—to the point of being slightly paranoid—was a little overdone. But then, I read about the high school in Alabama where the school board cancelled the prom rather than let two girls attend as a couple and I realized that may I have been living in my liberal northeast bubble a little too long. I am glad I don’t live in a town like Crayford, but I have to be honest and say that I probably don’t fully appreciate the struggles that LGBTQ youth go through growing up in an environment such as the one depicted in this story. This book was a bit of a reality check for me, in that regard.
I know that self-published books have a stigma of being poorly written and unedited. This book did not suffer from that problem and was very well done, in all respects. I have only one memory of a misused word (envelope instead of envelop) and the ebook formatting on my Kindle looked great.
This is advertised as a “serial novel” and it does have a great big, wide-open cliffhanger ending that might annoy some readers. I wasn’t expecting it but in the context of the story, it is a very realistic and believable and left me anxiously anticipating the next book. The author doesn’t provide any info on her website as to when that will be although at the end of Enlightened she does include a snippet of the forthcoming Abandoned. I hope it will be out soon. I am also curious about how many books are planned in the series.
All in all, highly recommended and worth seeking out. Because it is self-published it is not as widely available as many of the books reviewed here. However, you can buy a print version and a Kindle (ebook) version at Amazon. Even if you don’t have a Kindle, you can download the Kindle app for PC, Blackberry, iTouch/iPhone or Mac (just released yesterday!) and read the ebook on any of those devices. A little bit of a hassle, but worth it, in this case.
One final note: Brian and Jamie are 16 and 17 in the book (Brian has his seventeenth birthday late in the story). Some people would consider that underage and choose not to read this for that reason. Personally, I know that teenagers have sex and to try to deny that is foolish, but I offer this information in the interest of full disclosure.
(posted at Reviews by Jessewave, 3/18/2010)
THE BLURB
Little Boy Lost is the story of Brian McAllister, the boy next door.
Brian goes to school, does his homework, and helps his foster parents around the house. Brian also has a secret. He is in love with his best friend. In Crayford, Alabama being in love with another boy is the worst kind of sin.
In this first book, Enlightened, Brian and Jamie discover just how deep their emotional bond runs, and at what cost. From fumbling through their first sexual experiences to shrouding every aspect of their relationship from everyone in their lives, Brian and Jamie battle for the one thing that is truly theirs—love.
What will they do if their secret is discovered?
THE REVIEW
I discovered this self-published book through a link at Goodreads. Because young adult, coming-of-age stories are my guilty pleasure, I bought the book immediately after reading a sample. I’m glad I did because it’s very good.
The story opens with Brian in church with his best friend Jamie. Brian isn’t religious but Jamie’s family is; if Brian spends the night at Jamie’s house on Saturday, he goes to church with the family on Sunday. On this particular day, the pastor is giving an “All homosexuals will burn in hell!” sermon and Brian is terrified because he has come to the realization that he is gay and he is deeply in love with Jamie. However, the only person who knows these two facts is Brian—for the moment.
Told from Brian’s first person POV, the story covers a six month period during which Brian and Jamie come to understand and accept their feelings for each other and ultimately consummate their relationship. This process isn’t easy because they live in a very small, very conservative town where homophobic feelings are the norm. Jamie must deal with his religious upbringing and beliefs while Brian is a foster child who worries that one misstep on his part will result in a phone call to the state and a new family placement for him. Even so, they provide support for each other through their love.
The biggest strength of this book is the developing sexual relationship between the two boys, which is told very lovingly and tenderly. Their initial explorations, fumbling touches, then a first kiss:
It was everything a boy’s first kiss should be. Only…it wasn’t with a girl.
Just lovely.
The sex scenes are quite explicit—no fade to black here. At first I wondered if this was really a YA book then I remembered when I was fifteen, I was desperate to read anything about sex and usually all I got was a kiss. For a closeted, questioning young man living in a small town in the US (or anywhere, really) this book might just be what he needs to validate his feelings and tell him that it’s okay to fall in love with your best friend.
At first I thought that the depiction of Brian and Jamie’s fear about being found out—to the point of being slightly paranoid—was a little overdone. But then, I read about the high school in Alabama where the school board cancelled the prom rather than let two girls attend as a couple and I realized that may I have been living in my liberal northeast bubble a little too long. I am glad I don’t live in a town like Crayford, but I have to be honest and say that I probably don’t fully appreciate the struggles that LGBTQ youth go through growing up in an environment such as the one depicted in this story. This book was a bit of a reality check for me, in that regard.
I know that self-published books have a stigma of being poorly written and unedited. This book did not suffer from that problem and was very well done, in all respects. I have only one memory of a misused word (envelope instead of envelop) and the ebook formatting on my Kindle looked great.
This is advertised as a “serial novel” and it does have a great big, wide-open cliffhanger ending that might annoy some readers. I wasn’t expecting it but in the context of the story, it is a very realistic and believable and left me anxiously anticipating the next book. The author doesn’t provide any info on her website as to when that will be although at the end of Enlightened she does include a snippet of the forthcoming Abandoned. I hope it will be out soon. I am also curious about how many books are planned in the series.
All in all, highly recommended and worth seeking out. Because it is self-published it is not as widely available as many of the books reviewed here. However, you can buy a print version and a Kindle (ebook) version at Amazon. Even if you don’t have a Kindle, you can download the Kindle app for PC, Blackberry, iTouch/iPhone or Mac (just released yesterday!) and read the ebook on any of those devices. A little bit of a hassle, but worth it, in this case.
One final note: Brian and Jamie are 16 and 17 in the book (Brian has his seventeenth birthday late in the story). Some people would consider that underage and choose not to read this for that reason. Personally, I know that teenagers have sex and to try to deny that is foolish, but I offer this information in the interest of full disclosure.
(posted at Reviews by Jessewave, 3/18/2010)
April 16, 2017
3.5 stars!
Enlightened isn't an easy read. Living in a small town in Alabama, Brian and Jaime are slowly figuring out that they are not only gay, but also in love with each other. Forced to hide their feeling from their parents and the rest of the word, these two young boys are going through a very difficult time full of doubts, fears and insecuritites.
All they can rely on is their love for each other.
It broke my heart to read about their suffering and the struggles they went through knowing that too many teenages had to go through very similar situations in real life. I will definitly continue this series, as I'm looking forward to find out what happened to Jaime and Brian.
Enlightened isn't an easy read. Living in a small town in Alabama, Brian and Jaime are slowly figuring out that they are not only gay, but also in love with each other. Forced to hide their feeling from their parents and the rest of the word, these two young boys are going through a very difficult time full of doubts, fears and insecuritites.
All they can rely on is their love for each other.
It broke my heart to read about their suffering and the struggles they went through knowing that too many teenages had to go through very similar situations in real life. I will definitly continue this series, as I'm looking forward to find out what happened to Jaime and Brian.
May 12, 2011
I had a hard time rating this book and at times I had a really difficult time reading it. Here's the thing, at first I thought of giving this book a less than favorable rating because I was just a little too squeamish about the sex scenes. They were pretty explicit and graphic and I had a hard time reading them knowing I was reading about young boys. Did the exploration need to be part of this book, yes. I just think for me personally they could be a little less explicit. I just couldn't get past the fact that some old guy or woman would read it and get off on the young boys and ignore what this book was really about. I finished the book and set it aside and tried to really think about how to review it and i couldn't. So I went back and read it again.....
This time I skipped a large portion of the sex scenes and that's when I came up with the fact that this book really did deserve a great rating because of the characters and the message in this book.
The opening line "My name is Brian Patrick McAllister, and I'm going to hell." was such a powerful statement and the message in this book is powerful. I can't imagine growing up in such a family or town as this thinking that just for being you that your going to hell and are an abomination. This one grabbed my heart. I recommend this book to anyone over the age of 16. I just wish the the sex would have been less explicit because I would love to be able to recommend this to any young boy or girl who are struggling with their identity and feeling the world is against them. So in the end as a mature teen/adult read I give it 5 stars and highly recommend it.
This time I skipped a large portion of the sex scenes and that's when I came up with the fact that this book really did deserve a great rating because of the characters and the message in this book.
The opening line "My name is Brian Patrick McAllister, and I'm going to hell." was such a powerful statement and the message in this book is powerful. I can't imagine growing up in such a family or town as this thinking that just for being you that your going to hell and are an abomination. This one grabbed my heart. I recommend this book to anyone over the age of 16. I just wish the the sex would have been less explicit because I would love to be able to recommend this to any young boy or girl who are struggling with their identity and feeling the world is against them. So in the end as a mature teen/adult read I give it 5 stars and highly recommend it.
November 19, 2014
I absolutely loved this book from beginning to end. Every. Single. Word. It’s not an easy story to read. It’s heartbreaking really. What a sad commentary on our society that these two boys are so afraid of hatred and bigotry that they have to resort to deceiving everyone in their small God-fearing Alabama town. Going out with girls so people don’t suspect they’re gay. Hiding their love for one another; feeling ashamed of who they are. It makes my heart hurt :(
I adore Brian and Jamie. Their relationship was written beautifully. Falling in love for the first time, exploring their sexuality, overcoming their fears. The ending ripped my heart out. There’s no HEA, not even a happy for now. It’s a big cliffhanger, but luckily book #2 is out so I can continue on with Brian and Jamie’s journey.
I adore Brian and Jamie. Their relationship was written beautifully. Falling in love for the first time, exploring their sexuality, overcoming their fears. The ending ripped my heart out. There’s no HEA, not even a happy for now. It’s a big cliffhanger, but luckily book #2 is out so I can continue on with Brian and Jamie’s journey.
March 8, 2010
This is an enchanting story. Brian and Jamie are such "normal" kids - except for the fact that being gay isn't considered normal by most of the people in their hometown.
They both fear discovery. Brian because he is a foster kid and he is scared of being sent away. Jamie because his parents are staunchly religious and make him listen to gay-condemning sermons every Sunday. This is the first of several books, and I can tell you, it had me spellbound. I laughed and I cried as Brian and Jamie discover who they are, as they get to know each other as more than friends... and I can't wait for the next installment!
They both fear discovery. Brian because he is a foster kid and he is scared of being sent away. Jamie because his parents are staunchly religious and make him listen to gay-condemning sermons every Sunday. This is the first of several books, and I can tell you, it had me spellbound. I laughed and I cried as Brian and Jamie discover who they are, as they get to know each other as more than friends... and I can't wait for the next installment!
March 21, 2011
This story was a bit one dimensional. First of all it felt like the main characters were both kind of girlish. Teenage boys just don't talk like that. It seemed like this same story has been told several times already and done a lot better. It ends in a cliffhanger, but to be honest, I probably won't read the next one.
June 1, 2010
I have to believe that prejudice against the gay community would be minimized if more people read stories such as this one. This story expresses the tragic struggle that too many young adults are faced with in today’s society. Fear of their community, friends and family turning their backs on them for simply being honest about being who they are, Brian and Jamie do not feel they have anyone else to turn to but each other. They are forced not only to hide who they are, but to pretend to be who everyone else wants and expects them to be. With all that I have witnessed in my 27 years, I believe that this is a very honest account of what many boys and girls have lived through. It is too bad that we still live in a world where people are uncomfortable with people that are different from themselves. Instead of seeing the beauty in a world filled with diversity, too many people attack and persecute those that make the world a beautiful place. J.P. Barnaby does a wonderful job writing a coming of age story expressing the love and commitment between two young men as they realize that they are gay and there friendship blossoms into something more. The constant state of fear that these two live in, while trying to hide their blossoming romance in an extremely religious community that condemns the love between two people of the same gender, is heart wrenching.
How can anyone truly believe that God would encourage the spreading of hatred and scorn over compassion and understanding?
How can anyone truly believe that God would encourage the spreading of hatred and scorn over compassion and understanding?
February 12, 2012
When I find myself holding my breath when I'm reading, it's my way of knowing that it's an amazing book. I'm surprised I didn't pass out through lack of air reading this one.
This is such a beautiful story of all the joys and insecurities of first love. It is told by Brian, a foster child who has had an incredibly difficult and unstable childhood. Brian's insecurity makes the fears he has all the more real - as well as going through the usual doubts of a teenager in love, he also fears rejection by his foster parents if they find out he is gay.
Together, Brian and Jamie also have to contend with the fact that in their small town, being gay could mean being attacked or even killed.
Their love for each other is believable and incredibly sweet. The sex scenes are quite explicit but are really tender and intimate - it's an absolutely beautiful read.
Be warned though, you will need to keep reading the other books in the series to get your HEA.
This is such a beautiful story of all the joys and insecurities of first love. It is told by Brian, a foster child who has had an incredibly difficult and unstable childhood. Brian's insecurity makes the fears he has all the more real - as well as going through the usual doubts of a teenager in love, he also fears rejection by his foster parents if they find out he is gay.
Together, Brian and Jamie also have to contend with the fact that in their small town, being gay could mean being attacked or even killed.
Their love for each other is believable and incredibly sweet. The sex scenes are quite explicit but are really tender and intimate - it's an absolutely beautiful read.
Be warned though, you will need to keep reading the other books in the series to get your HEA.
April 9, 2017
why
why would you tear my heart out and not even give me a shred of hope for a happily ever after?
why would you tear my heart out and not even give me a shred of hope for a happily ever after?
June 7, 2010
4.5 Stars
Sixteen-year-old Brian McAllister lives in a Crayford, Alabama, a community where Christian fundamentalism is the norm and homosexuality is an abomination. He harbors a very dark secret: he is gay. Brian is an orphan who was raised by foster parents, and thus he already feels like an outsider. The realization that he is different from everyone else in yet another way only adds to his self-loathing.
Brian’s best friend is Jamie Mayfield, whom Brian loves immensely. Brian’s feelings for Jamie go beyond mere friendship, but he is terrified that if Jamie discovers his secret, it will destroy the relationship. When Jamie finally confesses that he is attracted to Brian, a romance blossoms. The boys begin a journey of self-discovery and sexual exploration.
As their relationship progresses, Brian eventually comes out to his foster parents, who prove to be very understanding. Jamie, however, does not receive this kind of support from his family. They are deeply religious, and his parents react very harshly to the news that their son is gay. The boys struggle to sustain their relationship while facing what appear to be insurmountable obstacles.
The writing style employed by this author is beautiful, and the romantic descriptions are purely magical. The scene in which Brian and Jamie kiss for the first time is perhaps the most emotionally-charged scene I’ve ever read. In my opinion, the strength of this author lies within her ability to translate these emotions into such magnificent prose.
The storyline is very heart-rending. It is painful to observe the lengths that these two boys must go to in order to protect one another and to sustain their relationship. The homophobia that they face from their peers and their community is both sad and nauseating.
I found it especially moving the way the boys so cautiously progressed through the stages of their relationship. Initially they kissed and reveled in one another’s touch. Gradually it became more serious and thus more physical. When they finally became sexually intimate with one another, their nervousness and excitement felt so real.
The story is presented in the first person singular, in the voice of Brian. His angst and confusion were articulated in a manner which did not at all sound whiny, but which instead drew the reader into his mental state. He was a sympathetic narrator, and I believe this presentation worked extremely well with this story.
Jamie’s character was a little more enigmatic, yet understandably so. For portions of the book, it was difficult to understood his motivations, yet ultimately revelations were made as they became available to the central character/narrator. This is perhaps the biggest challenge of writing in first person—fleshing out the characters fully while describing everything from a single point of view. The author rather skillfully managed to meet the challenge.
From a critical standpoint, I must say that I found the dialogue to be quite formal, at least for sixteen year olds. There were also portions of the story where I had wished to see dialogue where there was none. One such example was when Brian came out to his foster father. The scene was written passively and just skimmed over the meat of their conversation. This would have been a very poignant scene had it actually included their words to one another.
Overall this is a brilliant coming out/coming-of-age love story. It is written beautifully, and the characters are tremendously well developed. It has left me yearning for more, and being that this book is only the first installment of a series, I’m eagerly awaiting the second book. I highly recommend this read for both young adults and mainstream gay fiction readers.
Sixteen-year-old Brian McAllister lives in a Crayford, Alabama, a community where Christian fundamentalism is the norm and homosexuality is an abomination. He harbors a very dark secret: he is gay. Brian is an orphan who was raised by foster parents, and thus he already feels like an outsider. The realization that he is different from everyone else in yet another way only adds to his self-loathing.
Brian’s best friend is Jamie Mayfield, whom Brian loves immensely. Brian’s feelings for Jamie go beyond mere friendship, but he is terrified that if Jamie discovers his secret, it will destroy the relationship. When Jamie finally confesses that he is attracted to Brian, a romance blossoms. The boys begin a journey of self-discovery and sexual exploration.
As their relationship progresses, Brian eventually comes out to his foster parents, who prove to be very understanding. Jamie, however, does not receive this kind of support from his family. They are deeply religious, and his parents react very harshly to the news that their son is gay. The boys struggle to sustain their relationship while facing what appear to be insurmountable obstacles.
The writing style employed by this author is beautiful, and the romantic descriptions are purely magical. The scene in which Brian and Jamie kiss for the first time is perhaps the most emotionally-charged scene I’ve ever read. In my opinion, the strength of this author lies within her ability to translate these emotions into such magnificent prose.
The storyline is very heart-rending. It is painful to observe the lengths that these two boys must go to in order to protect one another and to sustain their relationship. The homophobia that they face from their peers and their community is both sad and nauseating.
I found it especially moving the way the boys so cautiously progressed through the stages of their relationship. Initially they kissed and reveled in one another’s touch. Gradually it became more serious and thus more physical. When they finally became sexually intimate with one another, their nervousness and excitement felt so real.
The story is presented in the first person singular, in the voice of Brian. His angst and confusion were articulated in a manner which did not at all sound whiny, but which instead drew the reader into his mental state. He was a sympathetic narrator, and I believe this presentation worked extremely well with this story.
Jamie’s character was a little more enigmatic, yet understandably so. For portions of the book, it was difficult to understood his motivations, yet ultimately revelations were made as they became available to the central character/narrator. This is perhaps the biggest challenge of writing in first person—fleshing out the characters fully while describing everything from a single point of view. The author rather skillfully managed to meet the challenge.
From a critical standpoint, I must say that I found the dialogue to be quite formal, at least for sixteen year olds. There were also portions of the story where I had wished to see dialogue where there was none. One such example was when Brian came out to his foster father. The scene was written passively and just skimmed over the meat of their conversation. This would have been a very poignant scene had it actually included their words to one another.
Overall this is a brilliant coming out/coming-of-age love story. It is written beautifully, and the characters are tremendously well developed. It has left me yearning for more, and being that this book is only the first installment of a series, I’m eagerly awaiting the second book. I highly recommend this read for both young adults and mainstream gay fiction readers.
April 26, 2012
Reviewed on Hearts On Fire... http://heartsonfirereviews.com/
I'm not a big fan of books about boys. It's just a personal preference of mine but a friend recommended this sweet story and now I have to read the sequel.
Brian McAllister is the typical 16 year old boy next door until he hears a sermon a hell, fire and brimstone sermon about homosexuality at his friend Jamie's church. Brian is a foster child placed in a loving home with open minded foster parents but they are living in the bible belt of Alabama. Jamie Mayfield is Brian's best friend and the object of Brian's affection which in Crawford, Alabama makes him an abomination. Jamie's parents are strict evangelicals but the kicker is that Jamie has secret feelings for Brian too. Brian is totally conflicted about hell and his sexuality so one day he sneaks into his foster father's office and does a computer search on gay men. He is shocked and turned on by the plethora of porn he finds. He also does a search for God and homosexuals and finds the many conflicting views put forward by bible scholars and gays alike. Jamie and Brian begin a very innocent and loving relationship which grows into a strong bond of friendship and love. The two young lovers hide their relationship by dating girls and sneaking around followed only by their angst at having to do so. Brian does come out to his foster parents who are totally accepting of him. Jamie is not so lucky. The story is written in the first person with Brian as the narrator and the person the reader gets to know best. Ms Barnaby did a great job of telling the story through Brian's eyes and heart. She was able to flesh out the other characters well which is not easily done when writing in the first person. I did find it very hard to believe that 16 and 17 year old boys could be so naive and lacking in sexual knowledge at that age. I enjoyed the way Brian's foster parents talked to Brian about his being gay in their own way. It made them so much more real. The angst over using the girls as a cover was well played and showed the insecurities and jealousy each bot harbored. I find it intolerable that people can be so very narrow minded and homophobic in this day and age. The book leaves the reader hanging at the end with a bittersweet kind of ending. I recommend this sweet story to anyone who enjoys young adult fiction.
I'm not a big fan of books about boys. It's just a personal preference of mine but a friend recommended this sweet story and now I have to read the sequel.
Brian McAllister is the typical 16 year old boy next door until he hears a sermon a hell, fire and brimstone sermon about homosexuality at his friend Jamie's church. Brian is a foster child placed in a loving home with open minded foster parents but they are living in the bible belt of Alabama. Jamie Mayfield is Brian's best friend and the object of Brian's affection which in Crawford, Alabama makes him an abomination. Jamie's parents are strict evangelicals but the kicker is that Jamie has secret feelings for Brian too. Brian is totally conflicted about hell and his sexuality so one day he sneaks into his foster father's office and does a computer search on gay men. He is shocked and turned on by the plethora of porn he finds. He also does a search for God and homosexuals and finds the many conflicting views put forward by bible scholars and gays alike. Jamie and Brian begin a very innocent and loving relationship which grows into a strong bond of friendship and love. The two young lovers hide their relationship by dating girls and sneaking around followed only by their angst at having to do so. Brian does come out to his foster parents who are totally accepting of him. Jamie is not so lucky. The story is written in the first person with Brian as the narrator and the person the reader gets to know best. Ms Barnaby did a great job of telling the story through Brian's eyes and heart. She was able to flesh out the other characters well which is not easily done when writing in the first person. I did find it very hard to believe that 16 and 17 year old boys could be so naive and lacking in sexual knowledge at that age. I enjoyed the way Brian's foster parents talked to Brian about his being gay in their own way. It made them so much more real. The angst over using the girls as a cover was well played and showed the insecurities and jealousy each bot harbored. I find it intolerable that people can be so very narrow minded and homophobic in this day and age. The book leaves the reader hanging at the end with a bittersweet kind of ending. I recommend this sweet story to anyone who enjoys young adult fiction.
September 15, 2010
KC from Smokin Hot Books pimped this book to me big time - and for good reason.
Brian McAllister is a sixteen year old living in Alabama. Having gone through the foster care system, he has finally found a home where he is safe and prospering. His best friend is seventeen year old Jamie, who comes from a deeply religious family. Brian's thoughts about Jamie have recently gone into the more than friend category. He doesn't want to be gay, the church tells him it is wrong, but he just can't help himself.
One fateful day, when they are alone, Jamie actually makes a move. Brian is stunned, and extremely happy. They start on a journey - one filled with questions, discovery, joy and fear.
At first I was a little conflicted with this book - it is written beautifully but it is also very sexually explicit - and it features two teenagers. But the way JP Barnaby tells us this tale of their romance, it feels real. I've never been a gay teenage boy, but to me, their feelings and actions felt appropriate for their ages. They feel deeply, yet still have that slight immature edge to them. It is told in Brian's point of view, and I loved his uncertainty and fear and just absolute joy when he realizes Jamie wants to be with him. But he also has moments where he acts out when he doesn't get his way. He is a very likable character and I fell for him very early on in the story.
Brian is SO conflicted with his feelings of being gay and the sermons he hears at church telling him how he will go to Hell for it. Not only does he fear his peers for his sexual orientation, but he fears for his soul. The stress of his situation is written really well.
I thought the reactions of both sets of parents were expected...maybe too expected. But I think that is my only complaint with this book. The ending is very unexpected. I actually hit the "next page" on my Kindle over and over although there were no more pages to turn. I very much look forward to Abandoned to be released soon (I hope!)
Brian McAllister is a sixteen year old living in Alabama. Having gone through the foster care system, he has finally found a home where he is safe and prospering. His best friend is seventeen year old Jamie, who comes from a deeply religious family. Brian's thoughts about Jamie have recently gone into the more than friend category. He doesn't want to be gay, the church tells him it is wrong, but he just can't help himself.
One fateful day, when they are alone, Jamie actually makes a move. Brian is stunned, and extremely happy. They start on a journey - one filled with questions, discovery, joy and fear.
At first I was a little conflicted with this book - it is written beautifully but it is also very sexually explicit - and it features two teenagers. But the way JP Barnaby tells us this tale of their romance, it feels real. I've never been a gay teenage boy, but to me, their feelings and actions felt appropriate for their ages. They feel deeply, yet still have that slight immature edge to them. It is told in Brian's point of view, and I loved his uncertainty and fear and just absolute joy when he realizes Jamie wants to be with him. But he also has moments where he acts out when he doesn't get his way. He is a very likable character and I fell for him very early on in the story.
Brian is SO conflicted with his feelings of being gay and the sermons he hears at church telling him how he will go to Hell for it. Not only does he fear his peers for his sexual orientation, but he fears for his soul. The stress of his situation is written really well.
I thought the reactions of both sets of parents were expected...maybe too expected. But I think that is my only complaint with this book. The ending is very unexpected. I actually hit the "next page" on my Kindle over and over although there were no more pages to turn. I very much look forward to Abandoned to be released soon (I hope!)
April 1, 2013
From the opening line, "My name is Brian Patrick McAllister, and I am going to hell." and launch straight into the pastor's sermon, I knew this wouldn't be an easy book.
It is the story, told by 16 year old Brian, of his developing sexuality - his realisation that his feelings for his best friend Jamie, extend beyond simple friendship. These feelings aren't only sexual though, Brian and Jamie share a deep love for one another.
Living in a small town, Jamie's parents are deeply religious and Brian is a foster child, worried about losing the only home he has felt wanted in since losing his parents as a young boy.
The boys try come to terms with being gay while trying to hide their feelings for each other from other people. They live in fear of repercussions. The story tells of their pain and is really moving.
"My question is, if god hates gay people and God made us, why would He make people He hated? I thought God was supposed to love everybody? Is it a test? Why me? Why you?"............."I'm scared, Jamie".
Warning: there is no happy ending in this book, The ending is certainly motivation to get straight into the next book. Hopefully, with so many books in the series, Brian and Jamie will eventually get their happy ever after.
It is the story, told by 16 year old Brian, of his developing sexuality - his realisation that his feelings for his best friend Jamie, extend beyond simple friendship. These feelings aren't only sexual though, Brian and Jamie share a deep love for one another.
Living in a small town, Jamie's parents are deeply religious and Brian is a foster child, worried about losing the only home he has felt wanted in since losing his parents as a young boy.
The boys try come to terms with being gay while trying to hide their feelings for each other from other people. They live in fear of repercussions. The story tells of their pain and is really moving.
"My question is, if god hates gay people and God made us, why would He make people He hated? I thought God was supposed to love everybody? Is it a test? Why me? Why you?"............."I'm scared, Jamie".
Warning: there is no happy ending in this book, The ending is certainly motivation to get straight into the next book. Hopefully, with so many books in the series, Brian and Jamie will eventually get their happy ever after.
November 13, 2012
This book is written firmly in the "tell don't show" camp -- as well as the "hit the reader over the head" camp. Ugh. This is not my style of book at all. There's no subtext, no subtlety whatsoever. It's written rather like a YA novel, except for the parts with the explicit sex. And yet again we get hit over the head with the Evil Homophobic Church, which I am thoroughly sick and tired of.
And jeez -- this book was written in 2011, and appears to be a contemporary story. Yet one 17 year old boy, talking to a 16 year old, asks him if he found something "naughty" on the internet?? Really, "naughty"??? And what 16 or 17 year old these days HASN'T looked at porn on the net?? This isn't realistic at all. I understand that these kids live in Alabama, but heck, I was a teenager in TN more than 30 years ago myself -- the South isn't all THAT backwards, folks, really!
And then there's this scene in a bookstore, where the MCs discuss the fact that they didn't know they liked the same author. One MC didn't even realize that the other MC liked to read, simply because he didn't keep books in his room. So -- these guys have been "best friends" for SIX YEARS, and they don't even know each others' reading preferences?? Really???
Sorry, but I just couldn't sink into this book at all. I'm going against the trend here, given the high average rating of the book, but I don't think this book really knows what it wants to be -- YA coming of age story, or mature erotic romance. It doesn't succeed at either one.
And jeez -- this book was written in 2011, and appears to be a contemporary story. Yet one 17 year old boy, talking to a 16 year old, asks him if he found something "naughty" on the internet?? Really, "naughty"??? And what 16 or 17 year old these days HASN'T looked at porn on the net?? This isn't realistic at all. I understand that these kids live in Alabama, but heck, I was a teenager in TN more than 30 years ago myself -- the South isn't all THAT backwards, folks, really!
And then there's this scene in a bookstore, where the MCs discuss the fact that they didn't know they liked the same author. One MC didn't even realize that the other MC liked to read, simply because he didn't keep books in his room. So -- these guys have been "best friends" for SIX YEARS, and they don't even know each others' reading preferences?? Really???
Sorry, but I just couldn't sink into this book at all. I'm going against the trend here, given the high average rating of the book, but I don't think this book really knows what it wants to be -- YA coming of age story, or mature erotic romance. It doesn't succeed at either one.
July 9, 2012
If it weren't for the erotica, which is first-rate, this book (and probably the whole series) should be required reading for all high-school students in the U.S. and for the parents of gay or questioning teenagers. It's the best portrayal of young gay love I've read so far. It's also a stark reminder of what young LGBTQ people go through in our society, particularly in the Bible belt section of the country. Though there's prejudice and danger everywhere they go, if we are going to be realistic.
Wonderful characters, well-paced and interesting plot, beautifully detailed settings and background, incredibly poignant and emotiional dialogue. Very few and minor editing issues. Excellent writing, overall.
I'm already half-way through book 2, Abandoned, and have been crying for most of it. I'll probably read the whole series through in order this week, since I can't not know how it all ends for Brian and Jaime. Thankfully, all the books are out. That's a relief, because I'll probably re-read these books many times in the future.
Wonderful characters, well-paced and interesting plot, beautifully detailed settings and background, incredibly poignant and emotiional dialogue. Very few and minor editing issues. Excellent writing, overall.
I'm already half-way through book 2, Abandoned, and have been crying for most of it. I'll probably read the whole series through in order this week, since I can't not know how it all ends for Brian and Jaime. Thankfully, all the books are out. That's a relief, because I'll probably re-read these books many times in the future.
November 7, 2011
I enjoyed this book a lot. But I feel like I have to qualify it, because it’s not a ‘feel good’ type of book. And maybe I liked it because I know bigoted people like the ones portrayed in it.
First I have to say, Dreamspinner, what were you thinking with this cover? It’s awful. So awful that I wouldn’t have purchased the book if there hadn’t been several glowing reviews.
I was also afraid of the ending. After reading the reviews, I knew that I wasn’t going to get a HEA or a HFN. I’m kind of a sucker for happy endings. It made me hesitate.
I am SO GLAD that I decided to take a chance on this book.
This book is raw. It’s gritty. And I have to say, I commend the author for the choices she made. There were times when I was reading that I expected her to take the easy way out. She didn’t, and the book was better for it.
There are two more in the series (of a projected six). I might wait on buying them simply because I don’t want to get too far into the series and stop. Or, I might buy them tomorrow, who knows.
I can’t stop thinking about this book. :)
First I have to say, Dreamspinner, what were you thinking with this cover? It’s awful. So awful that I wouldn’t have purchased the book if there hadn’t been several glowing reviews.
I was also afraid of the ending. After reading the reviews, I knew that I wasn’t going to get a HEA or a HFN. I’m kind of a sucker for happy endings. It made me hesitate.
I am SO GLAD that I decided to take a chance on this book.
This book is raw. It’s gritty. And I have to say, I commend the author for the choices she made. There were times when I was reading that I expected her to take the easy way out. She didn’t, and the book was better for it.
There are two more in the series (of a projected six). I might wait on buying them simply because I don’t want to get too far into the series and stop. Or, I might buy them tomorrow, who knows.
I can’t stop thinking about this book. :)
September 8, 2011
Sorry to disagree with so many of the other reviewers. There is nothing wrong with writing a coming of age theme, but it has certainly been done better elsewhere. I know you're supposed to suspend belief (or disbelief) when you read a story, however, this one was supposed to be true to life. But for the first third of the book I didn't find Brian at all believable. Sixteen/seventeen year old boys don't think that way. Also, most of the story was spent in Brian's head, with little conversation and no action. The book didn't go anywhere - nothing happened.
And I was very annoyed with the with the author's extreamly abrupt ending. It was obviously stuck on the end as an after thought by an author wanting to sell another book. I felt it was disingenuous. See part two. I'm not going to bother reading it.
And I was very annoyed with the with the author's extreamly abrupt ending. It was obviously stuck on the end as an after thought by an author wanting to sell another book. I felt it was disingenuous. See part two. I'm not going to bother reading it.
October 9, 2010
I absolutely loved this book about two friends in high school who discover their feelings for one another and struggle through all the challenges associated with being young, gay, first-time lovers who have to hide their relationship from family and everyone else. The writing was done so well that you can't help but feel all the emotion and get drawn into the story. This was my 3rd J.P. Barnaby book and each one has been awesome! I can't wait to read the next book in this particular series (or any by this author for that matter)!!
October 15, 2012
2,5
I know I'm in the minority, but I didn't find anything so special about this story. I do love YA books, but I prefer the ones where I can get invested in the MCs, it didn't happen here.
I know I'm in the minority, but I didn't find anything so special about this story. I do love YA books, but I prefer the ones where I can get invested in the MCs, it didn't happen here.
April 19, 2017
3.75 stars...I can't believe I didn't realise there were 6 books in the series !!!!!
March 15, 2017
I'm not sure I can do any more than others in describing this book. I adored it. I'm not a huge YA fan and the sex in this one means it is not really YA although it is about characters who are younger than 18. Sometimes I find myself (truly) wondering why you couldn't give this type of book to a YA. I wish I'd of had something more explicit at their age- so I knew that sex could be hot and passionate and FUN. I was 13 my first time - so my perspective is clearly very different than others.
Anyway - loved it - and others are right. Have the whole series standing by. I almost missed my alarm this morning because I could not stop reading.
Anyway - loved it - and others are right. Have the whole series standing by. I almost missed my alarm this morning because I could not stop reading.
March 14, 2011
I will be the first to admit I don't read much within the Young Adult genre but when I won ENLIGHTENED I was intrigued by this coming of age M/M story. I don't think anything could've prepared me for the reading experience I was about to have. What I found so intelligently written was the teenage angst of an almost seventeen year old exploring his gay sexuality and romantic feeling towards his best friend. There is no over-embellishing of the drama or emotions but a very sincere story that won my heart over with the soul-deep first love blossoming between Brian McAllister and Jamie Mayfield.
The story is voiced from Brian who is an orphan living with his foster parents, the Schreiber's, in a small town in Alabama. From the sparse young adult novels I've read it is often difficult for me to connect with the adolescent protags. It was because of the life-altering discoveries Brian and Jamie made, the repercussions of being found out and the way they dealt with it all, that really made me find that connection. The struggle is a universal one; discovering who you are and want to be, only Brian is gay...in a very small and religious town. Of course not exactly the perfect setting to freely explore one's sexual self but it does such a fantastic job of becoming a platform for all those angst's, doubts and those many questions that riddles Brian and Jamie.
ENLIGHTENED delivers such a beautiful m/m coming of age story where I found the realism of the story something that resonated with me from beginning till end. It pretty much revolves around the daily life of Brian but the themes in this story infuse it with attention grabbing inner struggles. The blossoming of an intense first love, those tentative first passionate steps, the joy and fear that accompanies each new step and the ever present angst for discovery, it blended in to something so profound I yearned for Brian and Jamie to reach a happy forever together.
It didn't take long for me to be absorbed completely by the two protags and enjoy the fluent and emotive writing style from J.P. Barnaby. The author takes her time to set-up the story but at a certain point things start to happen rapidly and I almost couldn't believe what I was reading and then the story was over. Leaving me utterly shocked. J.P Barnaby provided a cliff hanger of gigantic proportions which left me at such an emotional high that I stared at those last words for a few minutes, almost not believing this is where it ended. There had to be a book two, I just knew it would not...could not end like that.
I found out that ABONDONED will hopefully be released soon so I'll say this; Go out, buy ENLIGHTENED for the heart-rendering beautiful tale it is but know that reading it is to crave book two; ABANDONED! Brian and Jamie's journey is long from over and I need to be there every step of the way! This young adult M/M story is impressive in its sincerity of the themes handled!
4.5 stars
The story is voiced from Brian who is an orphan living with his foster parents, the Schreiber's, in a small town in Alabama. From the sparse young adult novels I've read it is often difficult for me to connect with the adolescent protags. It was because of the life-altering discoveries Brian and Jamie made, the repercussions of being found out and the way they dealt with it all, that really made me find that connection. The struggle is a universal one; discovering who you are and want to be, only Brian is gay...in a very small and religious town. Of course not exactly the perfect setting to freely explore one's sexual self but it does such a fantastic job of becoming a platform for all those angst's, doubts and those many questions that riddles Brian and Jamie.
ENLIGHTENED delivers such a beautiful m/m coming of age story where I found the realism of the story something that resonated with me from beginning till end. It pretty much revolves around the daily life of Brian but the themes in this story infuse it with attention grabbing inner struggles. The blossoming of an intense first love, those tentative first passionate steps, the joy and fear that accompanies each new step and the ever present angst for discovery, it blended in to something so profound I yearned for Brian and Jamie to reach a happy forever together.
It didn't take long for me to be absorbed completely by the two protags and enjoy the fluent and emotive writing style from J.P. Barnaby. The author takes her time to set-up the story but at a certain point things start to happen rapidly and I almost couldn't believe what I was reading and then the story was over. Leaving me utterly shocked. J.P Barnaby provided a cliff hanger of gigantic proportions which left me at such an emotional high that I stared at those last words for a few minutes, almost not believing this is where it ended. There had to be a book two, I just knew it would not...could not end like that.
I found out that ABONDONED will hopefully be released soon so I'll say this; Go out, buy ENLIGHTENED for the heart-rendering beautiful tale it is but know that reading it is to crave book two; ABANDONED! Brian and Jamie's journey is long from over and I need to be there every step of the way! This young adult M/M story is impressive in its sincerity of the themes handled!
4.5 stars
May 4, 2016
Well...shit.
That really was a good book. I have totally gone into the fact that I am not a big reader of YA stories in the past, but dear lord I am glad i read this. It did a good job of going into all the angsty teenage, come of age, coming out, family/church/people drama without ever actually putting me off. It was incredibly well written, and I had a hard time putting it down to eat dinner. I just really really liked this story. I loved Brian's pov, and a lot of the shit he was having to deal with, especially when it came to the problems with Christianity and what exactly constitutes a sin, are things I have spent a lot of time dealing with myself. I think this story handled it pretty well, though I have to admit that I am glad I never had to deal with the level of hate that was spewed here. Or maybe I have, it is just that the people I grew up with knew how to hide their hate in condescending smiles and 'oh, the poor thing' whispering gossip.
And I really loved that Jamie grew a pair at the end...even if that ending was a bit heart wrenching to witness. I am so going to have to finish this entire series, because I just can't leave it there. I have to know how it ends. Even if it kills me.
I have to say this was a great introduction for me to J.P. Barnaby. So glad I chose this book to read.
4.5 stars
That really was a good book. I have totally gone into the fact that I am not a big reader of YA stories in the past, but dear lord I am glad i read this. It did a good job of going into all the angsty teenage, come of age, coming out, family/church/people drama without ever actually putting me off. It was incredibly well written, and I had a hard time putting it down to eat dinner. I just really really liked this story. I loved Brian's pov, and a lot of the shit he was having to deal with, especially when it came to the problems with Christianity and what exactly constitutes a sin, are things I have spent a lot of time dealing with myself. I think this story handled it pretty well, though I have to admit that I am glad I never had to deal with the level of hate that was spewed here. Or maybe I have, it is just that the people I grew up with knew how to hide their hate in condescending smiles and 'oh, the poor thing' whispering gossip.
And I really loved that Jamie grew a pair at the end...even if that ending was a bit heart wrenching to witness. I am so going to have to finish this entire series, because I just can't leave it there. I have to know how it ends. Even if it kills me.
I have to say this was a great introduction for me to J.P. Barnaby. So glad I chose this book to read.
4.5 stars
June 27, 2010
This is an emotional and honest portrayal of two teens coming to terms with their sexuality in a small town southern state. Brian and Jamie are both innocent, sweet and charming characters feeling their way through their confusing emotions and first times.
Having personal experience with small town Alabama life, I really felt for these two young men and the steps they had to take to safeguard their love and protect themselves from those too ignorant and intolerant to understand. There are complex and emotional relationships between the boys and their parents/guardians and some of their classmates that add additional layers of depth to the story.
The only thing I took issue with was the level of sexual content in the book. Before reading it, I had shelved it as a YA title, but I've since removed it. I don't question that boys of their age would have the sexual experiences detailed in the book, I am just not convinced the level of detail was necessary in a book that I think could really speak to teens otherwise.
Brian and Jamie are beautifully developed characters and I look forward to seeing where life takes them (although from the snippet at the end of the book, it's not going to be a smooth ride).
Having personal experience with small town Alabama life, I really felt for these two young men and the steps they had to take to safeguard their love and protect themselves from those too ignorant and intolerant to understand. There are complex and emotional relationships between the boys and their parents/guardians and some of their classmates that add additional layers of depth to the story.
The only thing I took issue with was the level of sexual content in the book. Before reading it, I had shelved it as a YA title, but I've since removed it. I don't question that boys of their age would have the sexual experiences detailed in the book, I am just not convinced the level of detail was necessary in a book that I think could really speak to teens otherwise.
Brian and Jamie are beautifully developed characters and I look forward to seeing where life takes them (although from the snippet at the end of the book, it's not going to be a smooth ride).
December 31, 2020
Short book that starts this series. Jamie and Brian are 90+% of the focus on the writing. A couple other girls fall for the boys and the boys pretend to like them, to cover their tracks. I was not liking the ultra-conservative Jamie parents and the setting of the book. But, there is this reality out there. I did not like the must-read-series-necessity style ending. I did not like Emma's end-of-book comment about revenge - I just don't want to read about revenge/drama. Hmm...
The love expressed between Jamie and Brian was great to see via their kissing and constant hand-holding. I liked how their story made plainly clear that these actions that are COMPLETELY acceptable between heterosexual couples are completely disallowed in their simplest forms between same-sex couples (in their community). It was great that these two boys reconciled that God still loved them and they were supposed to be together.
The love expressed between Jamie and Brian was great to see via their kissing and constant hand-holding. I liked how their story made plainly clear that these actions that are COMPLETELY acceptable between heterosexual couples are completely disallowed in their simplest forms between same-sex couples (in their community). It was great that these two boys reconciled that God still loved them and they were supposed to be together.
June 8, 2012
Believable characters, believable storyline, and one hell of an opening hook!
What a sweet, touching coming of age story, with two young men falling in love amidst the harsh background of Southern Baptist beliefs. My heart broke for the lengths Brian and Jamie had to go to to conceal their feelings for each other. Their stolen moments made my heart beat faster, and I suffered anxiety, jealousy, and everything in between right alongside Brian, one of the most endearing protagonists I've met in a long time.
J.P. Barnaby swept me back to high school (quite a feat; it's been awhile), pulling me deeply into these boys' world. I cheered for them, even knowing what was coming. That didn't make the impact any less profound. Highly recommended, but keep tissues and the next installment handy.
What a sweet, touching coming of age story, with two young men falling in love amidst the harsh background of Southern Baptist beliefs. My heart broke for the lengths Brian and Jamie had to go to to conceal their feelings for each other. Their stolen moments made my heart beat faster, and I suffered anxiety, jealousy, and everything in between right alongside Brian, one of the most endearing protagonists I've met in a long time.
J.P. Barnaby swept me back to high school (quite a feat; it's been awhile), pulling me deeply into these boys' world. I cheered for them, even knowing what was coming. That didn't make the impact any less profound. Highly recommended, but keep tissues and the next installment handy.
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