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What You Leave Behind

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"Ten years is a long time and even though I love you, I don’t think this is best for us anymore." Those are the words that fall from Liam Barnes' lips and leave Harper Reed's heart in ruins on the side of Interstate 5. He's lost and he thinks leaving her and all of Oregon in his rear-view is what he needs to find himself, dragging her heart right along with him as he goes.

Blindsided and devastated by the loss, Harper's life crumbles around her, but she's not the only one rocked by the news of Liam's departure. Austin Hayward, Liam's best friend and her long-time admirer, handles it about as well as Harper—not well at all. He is the only other person who understands the abandonment and helplessness she feels, and she finds comfort in their common sorrow and, unexpectedly, in his arms.

It's where Austin has always wanted her and where neither of them predicted she would end up. But is it where she'll stay? Is a new spark enough, when compared to an old flame, like the one Austin can see still flickering in her eyes?

Toward the end of a downward spiral lie the answers. What You Leave Behind is a story of anxious hearts, the deceitful self, and what it means to be lost and found again.

ebook

First published December 16, 2013

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About the author

Jessica Katoff

6 books70 followers
Jessica Katoff is a boring Digital Marketing Manager by day and a fiction novelist, contemporary poet, screenwriter, and songwriter on the side. Since 2014, she has released four poetry collections, Love like Arson, Vessels, These Wild Bones, and Words You Will Never Read.

When she isn’t pretending to be a professional or staring hopelessly at the blinking cursor on her laptop screen, Jessica loves to marvel at the beauty of live music, traverse the globe, not wear pants, bake tasty things, binge watch television shows, drink whiskey and cheap wine, and sleep—not all at once. Jessica hates ignorance, people who talk during movies or with their mouth full, lima beans, and the word “ooze.”

A southern Florida native, she currently lives on the outskirts of Atlanta, Georgia with her two very fluffy pooches, and is currently accepting applications for a devastatingly perfect husband in the greater Atlanta area.

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5 stars
45 (21%)
4 stars
53 (25%)
3 stars
67 (32%)
2 stars
29 (14%)
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13 (6%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews
Profile Image for Sandra .
1,831 reviews336 followers
August 26, 2016
Another P2P Fanfic  
 
Just based on the quotes alone, this book is not for me. There's also a rumor it was once a fanfic, and judging by the quotes listed for this book, I wouldn't be surprised. The writing in those quotes is awful, all telling, no showing, and the blurb is full of cliches. Not my thing, thanks.

ETA: I have confirmation that this book was once the Twilight fanfiction "Porcelain Heart" by queenofgray. I read this once already, no need to read it in a regurgitated fashion. One star for you, book.
Profile Image for Akyraa.
397 reviews17 followers
January 20, 2014
ummm...what the hell was this...the whole book passed with building Harper & Austin's relationship and then bam...she goes back to her loser ex...WTF!!!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Shannon.
355 reviews57 followers
April 5, 2014
I'm on the fence with this one. I have a few mixed emotions..

Liam is Harper's boyfriend of 10 years, and on their anniversary she thinks that he is coming to propose to her, instead he breaks up with her and leaves her on the side of the road. Of course like any girl would she totally breaks down.

This brings us to Austin, who is a friend to Harper and Liams Best friend. He is upset that his friend left without so much as a word as to where he is going, but also that he hurt the very girl that Austin has always been in love with, but had to pass by because he is a good friend. He's a really good guy, so when Harper leans on him to get through losing Liam, it's not hard to see how and why he falls so fast..

I liked that Liam wasn't just over Harper, that we find out that he loved her. This wasn't a guy who left his long term girlfriend and went on a screwing spree. He was broken, although the reasons why he was broken I think escaped me, I felt bad for him but at the same time I kind of felt that he had no right to feel like he had any right to Harper. Even when he comes back to town and tells her to be with Austin, you know he wants her for himself, and that just made the story line hard for me. I wanted her to be with Liam, because she loved him and he loved her, but she loved Austin too and Austin was there for her when Liam had to "find" himself. I think my issue was that I didn't know who I wanted her to end up with.. Even in the end when she chose one of the guys, I still wasn't sure that I wanted that guy to be the one who ended up with Harper..
Profile Image for Christina.
35 reviews
January 4, 2014
Jessica Katoff's debut novel captures heartbreak so achingly well, yet creates a balm over that pain in her story to remind readers that hope is not always lost. Beautifully written and devastatingly good.
Profile Image for Danielle White.
7 reviews22 followers
January 27, 2014
I finished this book about a month ago after reading the entire thing in less than 48 hours. I waited until now to post a review because I am STILL hashing through my feelings. STILL. Frankly, this is not Disney, it is a adult literature. In adulthood things don't always turn out the way we want them too. I can't say anything more about the plot without giving things away. I had all sorts of feelings while reading this book and I wish not to rob anyone of the opportunity to experience those feelings for themselves. A good book is not determined by a happy or unhappy ending, It is determined by it's ability to get inside you and make you feel. This book does that.
Profile Image for Justin Ray.
1 review2 followers
December 25, 2013
Wow!!!! Very detailed and heartwarming book. I couldnt put the book down. I have to admit, I read this book in record time (by my standards). This being the first book by this author, I hope there many more to follow. My hat goes off to ya along with a shot of whiskey
Profile Image for Mell.
1,402 reviews16 followers
Read
January 16, 2018
Soapy, and so-o melodramatic. Despite writing that is too wordy, the characters remain flat, cliché and unlikeable, in my opinion. Poorly done.
Profile Image for TeriLyn.
1,359 reviews437 followers
January 3, 2014
**ARC provided by author in exchange for an honest review**

I finished this book last night and have been sitting on my thoughts since. This is a hard book for me to review. I usually don't like love triangles so I try to avoid reading a book based on a love triangle all together. The synopsis of What You Leave Behind wasn't completely indicative of this being a love triangle. Often, I find myself rating books on the feeling I get when I read them more so than the plot, writing, themes, etc. This is especially true if something in the book I've experienced or can envision myself experiencing. With that said, I have nothing in common with Harper, the heroine. Except that we both have in common a deceased parent who died of cancer. Harper is lost in love, drowning it it. The love of her life that spanned a decade leaves her and the hollow that is left is lost. She finds comfort in his best friend. I found Harper a bit naive. She's 26 and it felt like I should be reading about am 18/19 year old girl. What You Leave Behind is about the after math of her great love leaving her and what happens when he returns. It's about finding friendship in unlikely places. It's about finding yourself in the rubble that's been left. I really did like the story. The writing is descriptive and forthcoming. The story is engaging to the point that I wanted to know what happens and who she would choose. It provoked feeling in me even though it wasn't all positive. For that, it's worth reading. I just didn't love it. I found myself having a hard time connecting with Harper. She is so confused and back & forth that I found nothing relatable. The story is angsty, which I don't mind. But the main character herself is a constant state of angst, which I did mind. That's where experience comes into play. I've never been in Harper's situation and without that experience it's harder for me to understand her. I loved Austin's character, a lot. He's a broken man who has lost his support system. He's found his great love and wants to commit to it. Liam is a train wreck. Not even he understand why he let go of the love he held in the palm of his hand. Although his story is a bit under developed, it's tragic. My heart broke for him. I wish we would have gotten a little bit more of his story when he left because it seemed as though there was so much more to him than what we got. All three, Harper, Liam, and Austin have been each other's support for most of their adolescent lives. When one third of their whole disappears, emotional chaos ensues. Harper's mom, Hilary, was a breath of fresh air. She's spunky, honest, and real. I'd love to read her story of healing. Personally, I was disappointed in the ending. I thought it would go a totally different way but again, it provoked feeling from me so for that alone I have to say I liked the book. Overall, it's a good read and I'd suggest it. It's just not the type of story I'd read all the time.
Profile Image for OpenBookSociety.com .
3,929 reviews125 followers
February 8, 2023
http://openbooksociety.com/article/wh...

Brought to you by OBS reviewer Andra

Well I was almost in tears from the break up in the prologue. Have we not all been through one bad break up? And the first is the most devastating. My heart went out to Harper in droves. But it this story is not just about her loss, but also about the loss of Austin’s best friend…he was dumped as well by Liam when he just up and left Harper. The three good friends were no more….and Harper and Austin had to come to terms with this.

The progression of life after devastation was so well told. One survives a break-up little by little and the time frame is different for each individual and each break-up. The writing was so good in my opinion that one could not help but feel gut wrenching hurt for Harper and being uplifted when Harper began to accept and move on.

I must say though, I don’t know anyone who has the luxury of essentially NOT going into work for a month….even if it was a family run business. So this part was a bit unrealistic in my opinion. We all need time to grieve, but life must go on.

I enjoyed Hilary (Harper’s mother), with her love of knives when protecting her daughter. :) Her jabs at Liam made me chuckle…..serves him right for messing with her daughter.

Clare and Dylan were great on many levels. They provided much needed comic relief while encouraging Harper to think about each decision she made. I loved how Clare just spoke her mind. And when they all moved in together….giggles abounded.

The changing relationship of Harper and Austin post breakup was very stirring and relatable. I found Austin’s sensitivity to Harper’s feeling very moving. He was not a perfect suitor but throughout the story he held what was best for Harper in the forefront of his feelings and actions. It spoke volumes to me about what a solid character he was, regardless of his checkered upbringing.

The whole journey (and I shall not say more as I feel you must read the story and thus I cannot include anything that would spoil the read) was thought provoking and heart-wrenching but well worth the journey. You won’t be disappointed (at least in this readers opinion).

*OBS would like to thank the author for supplying a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review*
Profile Image for BestChickLit.com.
458 reviews244 followers
January 10, 2014
What You Leave Behind is one hell of an intense read. The opening scene is heartbreaking and even though I knew what was coming, I found myself holding my breath for the duration.

The book’s title couldn’t be more perfect as you read on and become witness to the devastation caused by one person’s selfish decision. Katoff does such an amazing job of penning her characters’ emotions that she sweeps you up into the all-consuming nature of the situation, while the story flows in such an effortless manner that I actually felt I was watching a film. Harper’s turmoil is palpable at times and as she begins to get closer to Liam’s best friend, you hope she’s doing it for the right reasons. I had a particular soft spot for Austin, although his depth of feeling is actually painful and made for difficult reading at points, not in a bad way but because you really feel for him. He possesses a rare form of true love that means he always puts Harper’s needs in front of his own.

I read this in almost one sitting and cried big fat lip wobbling tears as I came to the final pages. If I’m honest, I don’t think it’s the ending readers will be rooting for but Katoff doesn’t take the easy route and I understood why. This is a book that deserves to be sitting on Amazon’s best sellers list and should be read by anyone looking for a story with some real depth.

Reviewed by Charlotte Foreman on behalf of BestChickLit.com.
Profile Image for Kelly.
524 reviews7 followers
April 5, 2014
What You Leave Behind

What a truly amazing story this is. The author did an outstanding job of making the characters well rounded and easy to fall in love with. It was a rollercoaster ride of emotions that I love in books. I was in shock/disbelief, I laughed, and I got teary eyed at the end. This is a story with no cliffhanger, but a fabulous ending. I am hoping Jessica Katoff writes more books with the same characters, maybe writing a book about the other characters in this story (I don't like to give spoilers away) with their happily ever afters. I read this book all at once and didn't/couldn't put the book down!! Great read!!!!!!!!
Profile Image for Tracy.
Author 38 books205 followers
January 5, 2014
I won this book via Twitter at the end of 2013. I loved this book. Right from the beginning my emotions were on a roller coaster. I was sucked into the beautiful prose and couldn't stop reading. Throughout the book, I wasn't certain who, if anyone, I was rooting for. I just wanted to be part of the character's journey. Upon the conclusion, I felt a little indifferent, but I still loved the book. If you are a fan of well written love stories that pull your heart in every direction, this is the book for you.
19 reviews2 followers
April 5, 2014
It took a little while to get into the flow of this book. It's written in a prosy, very introspective style, which was not what I expected based on the book blurb. However, the author gives each character a distinctive voice and a view of their experiences that made them relatable, and pulled me into the story. If I had to sum this up in one word, "torment" is the word I'd choose. The torment of losing love, of unrequited love, and losing oneself are all contained in this novel. There were a few editing errors, and a little too much crying, but still a solid novel worth reading.
Profile Image for Michelle.
322 reviews2 followers
January 4, 2014
My usual books are dystopian and paranormal so this was something cool and different to begin 2014 with. Very angsty and heart breaking, and hit way too close to home with the breaking up after a decade bit.

I really enjoyed the descriptive writing and some of the steamier scenes were really well done.

I have to admit, the epilogue threw me a bit as I really wasn't expecting it.

I look forward to more books though :)
Profile Image for Summer Carpenter.
16 reviews16 followers
April 8, 2014
I loathe giving anything one star but this book was just not for me at all. I don't like who she ended up with. Her boyfriend of 10 years dumps her on their anniversary and then skips town for months and yet she takes him back. I don't think so! I have never not finished a book but this book was very close to being a DNF. Words can not express how badly I did not like this book but this is my opinion only so maybe this book will be something you can enjoy.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 5, 2014
This was a really good quick read. The book kept my attention from the start. I look forward and hope that there will be future books with stories for Austin, Dylan and Clare. I want to see their happy endings. Thank you to the author for the download to share her writings with new fans. I will definitely get more books from her.
April 8, 2014
Beautiful love story

Beautiful love story

Wow what an amazing love story I love the fact that she took time out to find herself and to be able to choose who she really loved and wanted although I felt it for Austin but I knew they would not have been able to stay together
1 review
September 3, 2016
As a guy, I’m not too into the “chick lit” genre, but the premise of What You Leave Behind seemed interesting enough, so I gave it a shot. I’m glad I ignored the stigma attached to the genre. The plotline is really interesting and it’s a very well-written book. Five stars!
Profile Image for Chelsea.
Author 6 books35 followers
December 8, 2014
Crap. Crap, crap, crap. DNF!! I'm only 54% done, but if I wanted to read Twilight, I'd read Twilight! Ridiculous. Find your own story and characters and I might read you then although I'd be questioning what your next story plagiarized. Utter crap.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Anna.
956 reviews12 followers
November 3, 2014
A 3.5 for me, but rousing up because the story moved along and its was refreshingly different.
Profile Image for eLle.
143 reviews15 followers
July 26, 2017
I may never understood why Harper chose Liam over Austin but I love the word play with this book. I felt like I needed to quote everything even the narrations. Still, I believe Austin deserves a chance. Can we get a book two?
Profile Image for buzy_reading.
2,356 reviews54 followers
June 14, 2016
Harper was crushed by Liam breaking up with her and even more shocked by his abrupt departure from town. Liam not only left Harper but his friend Austin.
The story was a slow progression of grieving the loss of Liam. Harper spent weeks depressed until her mother convinced her it was not healthy. Harper was faced with memories everywhere she went. Even her friends were a constant reminder of the loss. Harper's life revolved around Liam. Together Harper and Austin bonded together over the loss of Liam forming a connection that was unexpected.

It felt like Liam died rather than left which made it difficult for Harper to move forward. Liam gave no reason for his departure only that he needed time to find himself. Harper had no idea what was to become of her. Austin was a mutual friend that took a backseat to his own feelings waiting along the sidelines for an opportunity such as this one.

The story's written in the third person and I'm not liking that. It's weird having Harper refer to her mom as Hilary. The story felt impersonal using the third person perspective. Harper was twenty six with no aspirations in life. She lived at home and worked at a meat market with her mother. She spent the last ten years in a relationship with Liam who discovered he was lost and needed space. While Liam was away finding himself his friend Austin decided to take advantage of this opportunity to pursue what he had always wanted.

The author tried to create a what if scenario by answering these questions from the story. “Can you promise I didn’t spend ten years loving the wrong man? That I didn’t waste time that I should have spent with you? Can you promise this will last? The problem was in the delivery and the lack of information. Liam left with vague reason offering no closure for Harper. Austin proceeded with caution on his friends ex offering her comfort. Harper was torn between Austin who was present and wanting her love while still missing and loving Liam. They were in limbo with Liam holding all power. Austin was the substitution for Harper's heart.

The story had all the elements for a great story it just lacked in its delivery. At times I would find comfort and understanding in the words shared by characters that helped maintain the interest then other times I skimmed through the material searching for resolution in the drama. It kind of was a train wreck at times. The writing of the character Hilary was awkward making the relationship weird. The tension when Austin and Harper were together added discomfort. Many of the actions and consequences of these characters drummed up plenty of unwanted drama.
Profile Image for Jennifer Hines.
Author 5 books78 followers
December 31, 2013
*I received this book free from the author in exchange for an honest review*

First off I have to say this is one emotional rollercoaster of a read and most of it isn't the happy kind. I think what had me turning the pages so quickly was the desire at a glimpse of happiness, but they are so few and far between.

Harper is a wonder woman who gets her heart ripped out. The night she thinks her boyfriend of ten years is going to propose he leaves her instead. She's left devastatingly heart broken and on the verge of losing herself until suddenly she snaps and decides to get out of bed and reenter the world.

Liam had it all, but his anxiety pushed him to leave the one woman he'd always loved and would always love. Stupid choices cannot be taken back and when he finally decides he needs to go back he's slapped in the face with knowledge that she's moved on…with his best friend.

Austin, oh Austin, deserves so much more than he gets in this story. He's been in love with his best friend's girl since before Liam and even met her. He'd kept his feelings hidden over the years because he wanted to see her happy and Liam was the one to do that. But the moment he no longer did, Austin worked his way into comforting her (and her him) and their relationship grew.

But it's not as simple as boy break girl's heart and then girl falls in love with boy's best friend. Oh no! It's much more complicated than that. Two broken hearts cannot mend each other, but friendships and love can. It's not until the last few pages that you discover the answer to your lingering question…Who is she going to choose?...and honestly it could have gone either way.

My Favorite Character: Hands down it has to be Austin. I just love him! There's nothing like the sexy brooding man who puts others in front of himself.

My Favorite Moments: Both of my favorite moments include Harper's mother and butcher knives. Now that is one overly protective mother.
Profile Image for Andrew.
9 reviews
April 16, 2014
So, I find myself sitting here after finishing this book and I honestly feel lost. I long for more and something different. This book was so amazingly perfect at pulling on your emotions. Every emotion you can think of. I can't say I'm happy with the ending, but I'm completely understanding of the author's reasoning for it. I just feel so deeply for Austin and I relate oh so perfectly with where he was coming from. To feel his glimpse into the world he craved so passionately. . to have him touch what was unattainable for so long I just felt he deserved it so much more than Liam. If only it were to flip scripts and have Liam actually wholeheartedly accept Harp and Austin and their trio from a different angle.. I think I would have been more joyful rather than discontent.

All that aside. I absolutely loved it. A great plot for a movie... I hope!!
Profile Image for Rebecca.
47 reviews
July 2, 2014
While this isn't normally my style of book, I needed something a little less heavy than my normal pick, and this fit the bill.

I really enjoyed how real the characters and the storyline were. I probably wouldn't have written the story the way that Jessica Katoff did, but that's part of why I liked it. Life isn't always unicorns and rainbows, and sometimes things turn out differently than you'd expect.

There were definitely a couple of spots in here that I found myself not wanting to read in my normal reading spot, which is on public transit on the way to work :) But overall, it was just the kind of read I needed when I needed it. If I'd gotten ahold of it in summer, it probably would have been a great beach/pool read. Looking forward to future offerings from this bright new author!
351 reviews13 followers
December 28, 2013
I am sincerely surprised with how the book ends up.. but in my surprise I must spoil.. so..

Profile Image for Morgan Sanchez.
119 reviews1 follower
April 12, 2014
What an emotional roller coaster. Life is not perfect.... We make mistakes, we live and learn, we love, we hate, we are heart broken....We have so many things happen in our life that make us feel. When Harper doesn't get what she always dreamed of, she starts her emotional journey to find out what she truly wants. Through many ups and downs, she ends up being selfish and finally focusing on her needs.Sometimes your heart and head want two different things... Great emotional read. Takes you on a crazy ride!!
Profile Image for Pam.
183 reviews1 follower
May 18, 2014
A real honest to goodness love story, Angst, heartbreak and an HEA. The really neat part is you have two hunky involved and you don't know which one wins until the end.

Harper has been with Liam for 9yrs. They celebrate every year anniversary. Tonight she expects he will ask her to marry him. The met in school and have been together ever since. Tonight Harper is in for a shock and her whole world is turned up side down.

As her world is crushed and she learns to survive through it can she make the right decisions for herself. She knows she will never be the same again. NO CHEATING.
Profile Image for Dena.
1,232 reviews13 followers
February 23, 2015
It's a true triangle love story and very heartfelt when it came to the three main characters. I was rooting for Austin the whole time
349 reviews2 followers
April 26, 2015
Not how I thought the book was going to end or how I wanted it to end !!! I love how Harper and he mom share that remarkable bond .. I hate how Liam treats Harper like that and she forgives him
Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews

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