What do you think?
Rate this book
286 pages, Paperback
First published May 8, 2013
My mind flashes back to the present as Evan’s mouth covers my neck with passionate kisses and his hand finds its way into my undies—technically, his undies, but I’m wearing them and staking claim because possession is nine-tenths of the law. Nine-tenths? Who cares about that right now? I berate myself because Evan is in my underpants, and I’m not paying attention.
My heart drops to my feet. How can he drive me to Sunny’s after the time we shared last night? Oh God! I think I started falling for him and he was being truthful. My eyes well with tears as regret colors my vision of last night, of Evan, and the memory of beautiful Mallory in the mirror. I fell for it. I fell for him. I let my carefully, crafted guard down and fell like every other girl who’s walked through that door.
Leaning my head back, I slump down in my seat, and close my eyes. Images of her fill my thoughts—images of being on that couch with her, and holding her. I was once in heaven. Now I’m in hell. I don’t know where I went wrong, but an unfamiliar feeling has hijacked my normally careless thoughts. I’m thinking its regret. Getting out of my car, I stumble forward, escaping that emotion. I pull out a cigarette and light up, inhaling the calming addiction deep into my lungs. I decided a long time ago that if I was going to smoke, I was gonna do it fully. No light cigarettes for me. Only full on tar, nicotine, tobacco, and whatever other shit they put in these to make them taste and feel so fucking fantastic. I smoke the entire cigarette then toss the butt into the air, deciding I’m not going to do this anymore, but not quite ready to leave.
My hope deflates reading the unfeeling words written before me. He apologizes for sneaking out which I guess is a start, but why’d he have to go so early? And when did he become my parent determining how much rest I need. I would have rather lose a few winks and told him goodbye. I would have rather kissed him goodbye. I close my eyes sinking lower into the couch and tucking the note under my leg. I would have preferred that he stayed with me and we started the day together.
“I didn’t kick you out forever,” I say, sitting up while standing my ground. Tears well in my eyes and I say more than I should. “You hurt me. How many times am I supposed to let you come into my life and do that? I’m a girl and emotional. I need you to be there when I wake up so I don’t feel used.” I turn away to look out the window.
“You stalk me?” Stalk? Stalking… I wouldn’t consider what I do stalking. “No, I’m more like a peeping Tom—” “Peeping Tom is better than saying stalking?” “Not better, just more accurate,” I correct her. “Like I said, it’s usually just a drive by. We’ve all done that shit before.” I scrub my face with my hands, knowing how deranged this all sounds when I say it out loud.
He leans over and kisses me, making me want more of this man than I should. He brings out a slutty side of me and I’m really starting to like the benefits of that side. The slut is powerful and confident. She knows what she likes and isn’t afraid to ask, or wiggle into position to give a strong hint, for what she wants. I’m Evan Ashford’s slut!